It wasn’t until this year that I started to figure myself out. My real self. The one I have pushed deep down to escape the feeling of being hurt. This year God has started shifting my heart. I spent a lot of time last month in Trujillo pouring over the Bible.
I distinctly remember the day I heard God tell me “You don’t believe that I love you do you, Sarah?”
To which I thought in response, “What? Of course I do. Doesn’t every Christian??”
To which I felt him telling me, “I think you know that I love you….but you don’t really believe that I love you.”
I promise, that those two statements are not the same thing, but let me explain. When you grow up in a Christian home, school, etc your whole life like myself you know a lot about God. You’re told He loves you, that Christ died for you, and that you are forgiven from your sins. And you believe it…at least as head knowledge. That’s how it was for me. I knew in my head he loved me, but my heart had still put up a wall keeping me from really believing He loves me (see previous post). So when I dwelled on that conversation with God I came to find that he was right. I didn’t fully believe in God’s unconditional love for me. I felt like I had to perform and had to do all the right things in order to be accepted by Christ, and if I failed I would only have Him disappointed in me and frustrated with me. My orphan heart was being revealed. Sure He died for me… but I wasn’t paying Him back very well with all of my faults and failures. My view of God was of Him in heaven looking down and loving me when I did something right and upset and angry whenever I did something wrong.
It’s becoming life changing coming to actually believe that God loves me unconditionally!!! No matter how many times I fall down, fail, and struggle with my sin… He will always love me. I don’t have to perform. I don’t have to live life with an orphan heart anymore. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my Father and His love goes way beyond my understanding of it.
So… when we truly believe in God’s love for us we see who we really are. We are a child of the King!!! We are His brides, His daughters, His beloved, His delight. He loves us so much more than we know… He sent Jesus to die for us so that we may be accepted. And that my friends is what we need to be reminded of. That’s what I wake up early every morning reminding myself with. We already are accepted by the God who spoke the universe into existence! Know who you are in Christ. Do you truly BELIEVE that He loves you unconditionally and accepts you as His beautiful bride?? Because He is one who knows every part of your heart and yet still accepts you. What amazing grace.
And there is PROOF. Ex. 34:6-7, Isaiah 54:10, Lam. 3:22, Romans 5:8, Jeremiah 31:3, Gal. 2:20, 2 Thess. 2:16, John 3:16, Mal 1:2, 1 Kings 10:9 and so many others.
We can remind ourselves through His word every day that we are already accepted through the blood of Christ and we are perfectly loved more than we could ever deserve. You can rest in the promise that His love will never leave you
