From the time that I signed up for the race until the time I left for training camp, God had dramatically changed my perspective on life, missions, and even our relationship. I was confident of His call for me to go on the Race, he affirmed it over and over, but now with all the things He was teaching me, I no longer knew why. 
See that has been my biggest problem all along. The desire for knowledge. While that is a blessing in some instances, it is mostly my biggest stumbling block to intimacy with God. If I always have to know the outcome before I obey, where is the faith? What trust does that require? Uhm, none.
So now that I am gearing up for the race and the thoughts and expectations I had signing up have been shattered, I think God has me right where He wants me: wide-eyed and clueless. God has this big chunk of time with limitless potential where I have no idea what is coming. He will give me a choice each day, each moment, to obey His word and His voice, and we will walk. We will walk together, one step at a time, and just live. No expectations, no big "things I want to get out of the race," just open eyes to see where God is moving and open ears to hear when His says, "join me."
