Man, this month has been a month of personal refinement, feedback and calling out greatness. I've gotten feedback for being too passive, being a poor communicator, failing to serve well, losing my lack of fun and zeal for life. OUCH. Its easy to take those comments to heart and throw myself a pity party… But I have a choice. I can use that feedback to either become bitter or become better. Feedback is meant to call us into the greatness God has created us for. It should come from a place of love.
I CHOOSE TO BECOME BETTER.
I pondered and prayed about the feedback I had received. After reading through Acts 6 this morning, it hit me like a freight train. I can't do everything. I will run myself silly and will be exhausted and joyless, which pretty much describes how the past few weeks have been for me. Leading 2 teams this month has been incredibly difficult. I was trying to do everything and in that, I wasn't doing anything well. I was trying to unite team Shiloh while also leading the girls of Sweet Aroma.The worst part: I tried to be strong; to do it all on my own. But I can't. I've learned that as a leader, I need to communicate my needs to my team, allow them to come alongside me, help me and fight for me. While I've been desiring unity within the team and while I've been praying for that, I have done a poor job of demonstrating it first. Again, I could wallow in my mistakes and failures or I could lay down my pride, rise up and choose to become better.
I CHOOSE TO BECOME BETTER.
During one of our evening walks, one of my teammates and dear friends, Meg, challenged me to think of 3 areas I want to work on for next month. After naming a laundry list of my "failures" in leadership to her, I took the list back to God in prayer and let Him reveal to me ways He wants to refine me.
1. Better communication. Letting my team in on what's going on, how I'm doing and how they can fight for me.
2. Spiritual growth of the team. Morning prayer, devotionals, bible study, learning how to love & serve one another and to love & serve our ministries.
3. Choose joy. Last year, my new years resolution was to be a happy morning person. Through mandisas song, that was possible this year! Somewhere in the last 2 months I lost my joy and love for the morning, but I'm bringin it back! 🙂
At the beginning of the month, one of my squad leaders got a vision for me. I was standing on a mountain top, arms up and praising God freely. She asked me what it would take to get to that place of freedom. In my momentary bitterness, I acted like I had it all together and told her "I don't know.. I do feel free."
So, even though I've had to learn it the hard way, this month I have learned that I can't do it all. God doesn't expect me to do it all and He hasn't created me to do it all. This upcoming month, I plan to spend some time thinking about and dreaming about the unique ways God has gifted me and walk in the freedom He has given me as His daughter.
I CHOOSE TO BECOME BETTER.
