When you live in rural Cambodia for three weeks you are able to experience some very unique aspects of day to day life. My team and I stayed in the Baray district of Kampong Thom where in we were able to experience real Khmer lifestyle, and in my opinion, we almost had it down to a fine art. If when reading this list you find yourself entranced by the thought of living in such a way, life in rural Cambodia is for you.
If you…
love being awoken before 5:30 am every morning by:
a) overly ambitious geese honking repeatedly
b) a toddler named Samil playing drums on metal objects and/or screaming excessively
c) Khmer radio being played at obnoxious decibels
d) the local pagoda playing their prayers, chants, and music over loudspeakers
e) all of the above
are titillated by the thought of sweating more than is socially appropriate when trying to make conversation with the locals.
have always wanted to learn if it is truly easier to go number 2 in a squatty potty.
feel that toilets that are able to flush with the use of a lever are overrated, and would much rather play the “bucket flush” game.
(The “bucket flush” game is a game of estimative wits and sheer luck wherein the player strikes a guess at how many buckets of water it will take to make their own waste go down the potty. Guesses must be made before the initial bucket is tossed, extra points are given for as little splashing as possible. In the end, everyone wins. However, you are disqualified if you try and flush your toilet paper.)
(The “bucket flush” game is a game of estimative wits and sheer luck wherein the player strikes a guess at how many buckets of water it will take to make their own waste go down the potty. Guesses must be made before the initial bucket is tossed, extra points are given for as little splashing as possible. In the end, everyone wins. However, you are disqualified if you try and flush your toilet paper.)
are able to tell the difference between lychees and longans before peeling them.
enjoy being a walking spectacle everywhere you go.
can ride a bicycle down a highway with a Cambodian child on the back with confidence.
like to bathe in rain water.
are predisposed to being able to guess whether the creature making the strange noises in the wee hours of the morning is a lizard, a frog, a small child who has somehow managed to break into your room, or a demon. Hint: it’s usually a lizard.
have swift fine motor skills. This will come in handy when killing the many bugs that will nestle themselves in your body hair, clothing, and small folds of skin.
are coordinated. This will come in handy when trying to escape your mosquito net at 2 am to go pee. It will also come in handy once you’ve gotten to the bathroom and have to squat down to pee while simultaneously swatting the bugs off you while you’re still half asleep.
you are eager to learn the skill of fetching water out of a well with a bucket and a string. It’s all in the wrist, kids, all in the wrist.
love the sound of the ice cream truck. Bet you didn’t know that the monks in the pagodas love to blare the same music for hours on end that sounds just like the ice cream man driving up and down your street.
aren’t bothered by the smell of animal feces. Cows, chickens, dogs, cats, and sometimes small children let loose whenever and wherever nature may call. This can also be a turned into a game I affectionately think of as “Avoid the Poop!”
are able to keep your composure while being swarmed by bugs as soon as the sun sets.
are able to eat your dinner without cussing while being swarmed by bugs.
are able to eat your dinner without cussing while being swarmed by bugs and are able to get more actual food in your mouth than bugs.
if you are able to do the above without getting furious at your teammates for turning on their headlamp in order to pick the bugs out of their food.
can easily avoid petting the local dogs. This becomes easier when you realize that:
a) they are very dirty
b) they are probably carrying more parasites than you could count on one hand
c) their favorite late morning to afternoon activity is rolling in the dirt, the dirt that is also their bathroom
d) they probably have rabies
e) they do NOT want your love
f) they will try and bite you because they do not want your love, and then you’d not only have
been rejected by a dog but you’d also have rabies…and I’m pretty sure you’d be the laughing stock of the village at that point.
yearn for meals where you have no clue what you’re putting in your mouth, aren’t entirely sure it’s safe to eat, and when you can’t quite place that texture or taste you swallow anyways because it’s food and you’re hungry.
have always wondered what it’s like to get a nice, steady case of Cambodian Junk (aka a severe gastrointestinal infection). This is often related to or a byproduct of the aforementioned food at meals.
have a secret longing to learn how to make a good cup of Milo.
If any or all of these appeal to you, go to www.theworldrace.org and apply now, or go to the “Support me!! Pretty pretty please!!” tab on the left hand side of your screen and make a donation to my support account. I still need $3,302 before I am fully funded!
PS – Malaysia is grrrrrrrrreat!
