South Africa didn’t break me.
During this past month I surely have learned a lot about myself, my teammates, my ministry, ex-cetera, but I recognize that God designed this month to begin the molding process.
You see, God is always molding us into the man/woman He has created us to become. He gives us the potential to grow into that person, but we have to have a desire to be shaped.
I know I have that desire, and I can already feel His hands reshaping my heart and my spirit.
Ocean View, South Africa is pretty westernized; at least where I stayed. The three girls and I stayed with a woman and her daughter who were so kind and familial (shout out to Mama Frances!). We had beds with mattresses, a shower, a full kitchen, and even a TV to watch movies together; we were extremely blessed! I know that God gave me this month to adjust for what is to come. He knew my heart and He designed this month for me to begin stretching me.
God has shown me myself through someone else’s eyes (my teammates’). I’ll be the first to admit that I have issues with hearing criticism…oh, excuse me, “constructive feedback.” Whatever. But it’s really growing on me because the more I get to know these girls the more I see their hearts, and the more I see where their feedback comes from. Which is usually a place of love, to help me become the woman God has for me to become. And this is exactly what I want to do, to be, for them!
Community living is hard, no matter how many people you’re living with. But in the words of my team, we are all worth fighting for. It’s like a marriage. Marriage is not always lovey dovey. Marriage is hard work, a relationship that must be fought for every day, every hour, every minute. It’s not something you can just give up on. Our teams are like that. We have a “honeymoon” faze where we are still getting to know one another and are just having fun. But it’s getting harder. Sometimes we just want to give into our frustration or anger…but you can’t do that! Jesus calls us to love one another and fight for our relationships, to surpass whatever the Devil tries to use to bring us into his hands.
And I’m excited to see how God continues to grow us in this way, in this life of community! It’s going to be hard, sometimes it will feel impossible. But we have to keep our eyes on Jesus and his intentions for us, individually and relationally. We must dig deep into the Word and into prayer, keeping our eyes open and our listening ears on to see and hear what God has to show us.
I am anxious to see what God does in Swaziland; anxious, but ready.
