God and I are friends. Whenever I use to hear that I never really liked it. I just didn’t really get it. It kind of sounded, well, demeaning. God the creator of the universe is your friend? No way. He is so much more than that. God is my king. Ok that makes since. God is my Father. That sounds pretty good. He is my Savior. That’s for sure. But God is my friend? This is a new side to Him that I have been introduced to on this trip.
You see when you set out to travel the world with a bunch of strangers somewhere in the middle of it all you realize…..these people have no idea who I am. They don’t understand me. They don’t get why I am so emotional about some things and so carefree about others. They don’t know when I need to be hugged or just left alone. They don’t know why I am sad, or mad, or hysterically laughing. They don’t know what gets under my skin or what I just absolutely delight in. They have no idea how I process a single thought that comes through my head. They see no pattern to it all. Who do I turn to when all I want to do is just be; when I just want to be me and not have to explain it or justify it? On the race there is really no one but God. Don’t get me wrong I am surrounded by people all day long. There are many people that are willing to talk about things with me and a few that are beginning to understand me, but no one really gets me. I usually spend half of the conversation just trying to explain why I am feeling this way, or justifying my thoughts and feelings because I fear they don’t really understand where I am coming from. Let me tell ya, that can get exhausting. And where do I go when I want to talk about something that, well, I just can’t talk about with anyone….those private things that really you just don’t want anyone to know are even running through your mind in the first place (I would go into detail here and give you some examples but sorry I can’t they are private J)? God. Why God? Because He knows me; He knows everything about me. After all He created me. You can’t create something without knowing all the parts to it. If you created each and every part of something and you put them together yourself, who would know that creation better than you? Better than the one who thought up the idea in the first place?? So yea, God gets me. He knows all about me. He knows my thoughts and He knows where they come from. He understands why I am hurting or happy before I even do.
One day this all kind of dawned on me when I was so desperate to talk to someone about one of those private things and I began talking to God about it. I realized I don’t have to hide with him. In fact I can’t hide with him. I can’t sugar coat those thoughts and make them sound like something they really aren’t, because He can read between the lines. He already knows my heart, my mind, my true desires. And that’s when it happened, God and I became friends. I was able to just be free. I could talk about anything and everything with Him. I could just be me, because He already knew who the real me was. Since that day I have been realizing how much He does just for me throughout my day. He wants to hang out with me so He will free up time in my day so we can talk. He wants to laugh with me so He will show me something funny or random that sometimes only we get (yes I have inside jokes with God…we are that tight J). He will randomly play a song that I need to hear or just want to rock out to. He lets me vent when I am frustrated. He calls me out on stuff. He tells me I am beautiful even though most of the time I don’t believe Him. He tells me when I do things that make Him mad. He gives me awesome advice. He teaches me stuff. He challenges me. He dares me. He keeps my secrets. He cares when I don’t feel good or when I am sad. He is always around. I can rely on Him to be there. He never lies or says something He doesn’t mean. He is always there because He wants to be, not because He has to be or because it makes Him feel better about himself. He is there because He wants to be with me. Even when I am mad at Him or He is mad at me He is there. He promises never to leave and He is faithful. He always cares. He doesn’t just stop caring. He can’t. He loves me too much. He is my best friend.
The Lord looks down from heaven
And sees the whole human race.
From his throne he observes
all who live on the earth.
He made their hearts,
So he understands everything they do.
The best-equipped army cannot save a king,
nor is great strength enough to save a warrior.
Don’t count on your warhorse to give you victory
For all its strength, it cannot save you.
But the Lord watches over those who fear him,
Those who rely on his unfailing love.
He rescues them from death
And keeps them alive in times of famine.
We put our hope in the Lord,
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
For we trust in His holy name.
Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
For our hope is in you alone.
Psalm 33:13-22
