Do you ever feel like what is the point in investing in others because at the end of the day you have never felt more alone?
Have you ever felt like you just pour and pour into others but at the end of the day your glass has never felt more empty?
Do you feel as though no one will ever get you? That no one will ever love you the way you love them? That no one will ever understand the emptiness and physical pain deep within your heart?
Do you ever feel angry at God? God, why do you want me to invest in people that are going to turn around and hurt my feelings? That don’t have anything to offer me? That are going to turn their back on me? That are never going to love me like I love them? That are only going to be in my life for a short period of time? That aren’t going to let me love them completely?
God, why can’t you and I just live in relationship alone? I know You are safe. I know You are never going to leave me. You are never going to forsake me. I know that You love me unconditionally. I know that You love me more than I can ever imagine loving You. God, why can’t You just come give me a tangible hug to help solidify the realness of Your love?
WHAT IS THE FREAKING POINT, GOD?
And then God whispered softly into my ear and His words permeated into the depths of my soul…
”I am the point. The ONLY point. I am why you invest in others. I am the gift of your investments. The greatest return to ever exist. I am asking you to pour into others and please remember your glass has never EVER been more full.” (Big gulp and tears to follow that sobering reality)
Thank you God for speaking truths to me. You are the greatest return. Your love makes it all worth it.
We live on planet earth and in a world were tangible results define our success or justifies our significance as human beings. Whether it be through physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, money…or whatever it may be. If it isn’t tangible, it is not real.
The truth is, God is real. Satan is real. And this battle we fight each and every second of every single day is REAL.
I have cried out to God over and over…why do you want me to do the World Race? It is the complete opposite of what I want to do. I want to invest in people who are going to be my friends for life…I want to make a lasting impact on people’s lives…I want to help create something lifelong and sustainable…I want to be successful.
Why do you want me to go on a 11-month mission trip to 11 different countries? Why do you want me to invest in others, pour my heart and soul into people for 30 days and then leave? What good can come of that God? It sounds awful and extremely painful.
And then God whispered softly into my ear and His words permeated into the depths of my soul again…
“I want you to trust Me. My plan is bigger than You could ever imagine. Some (a lot) of cups need to be filled and I need you to be one of my water jugs. You may or may not see tangible results in this lifetime but I promise to always keep you filled to brim. Just trust Me. I didn’t say it was going to be easy. But just trust Me.”
If you have thought about investing in me and my trip on the World Race but have thought to yourself, why? Why would I do that? Why would I invest my money, time and/or energy into someone to basically “just go travel the world”?
Please remember I am asking some, would argue even harder, questions. Why should I invest my money, time, and energy? Why should I risk my career, my life and my health? Why should I abandon the comforts of this life?
I have no earthly clue. (pun intended)
Because no earthly clue can allude to the greatness of Our God.
Sometimes God just asks us to do things that don’t make much sense, that don’t necessarily feel good at the time and that don’t seem to have much purpose. He simply just asks us to trust Him, to obey, to continue to pursue and to trust that He can make extraordinary gifts out of seemingly nothing.
So if He has asked you to help me. Please just trust Him. I am (even though I am terrified).
I am extremely grateful to have met my first financial goal. Thank you for all of your love and support. You have no idea how much it means to me. Training camp is just around the corner and I can’t wait to meet some of my new family! October will be here before I know it…love you all.
