“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”
Psalm 27:4 NIV
Today was not unlike any other Saturday. I spent most of the day in the house with my family. We usually spend our time relaxing, watching TV, and playing with our dog, Tess. Her favorite pastime is finding socks and playing “tug of war” with them.
My sister and I were playing along and entertaining the dog as best we knew how, that is, until my mom got up from the couch and walked out of the room. IMMEDIATELY, Tess ran after my mom and followed her EVERY step. My sister and I always get a little disappointed when this happens, because, well, it happens every day. It doesn’t matter what we are doing, but if my mom enters or leaves the room, Tess is always half of a step behind her. My mom is much more important to Tess than either of us.
Sometimes I question, “Why not me? Does she know I love her? I play with her when I think about it, and I take her for the occasional walk.”
Then, I realized I am not home very often. My dad and I are at work and my sister is at school. My mom is the only one who is usually present during the day. I thought more about it. My mom is usually the one to take Tess to the vet or to get groomed. My mom is usually the one to feed Tess. My mom is the one Tess sees as always being PRESENT. My mom is the one who does pretty much everything for her; Tess relies on my mom.
Today, I further considered the first thought I had, “Tess doesn’t follow my every move. Doesn’t she know I love her?”
I sometimes think God has every right to feel this way, too, “Don’t my children know I love them? Why are they not running toward Me every time I make a move or provide for them?”
I believe He could feel these emotions because I know there are times I don’t pay attention. I don’t seek Him. I don’t notice when He provides blessings. I do trust Him; I know He has my best interest at heart…but am I truly RELYING on Him? Can I move forward and function daily without following His every move and word?
Luckily, my God is almighty. My God is perfect. He only knows what is pure and just. He is never insufficient and He never “feels” like He is. God is constantly moving. My God is always providing for me. I am slowly learning there is a difference between trusting God and truly RELYING on God. To me, this means hanging off of His every word. Praying for direction and noticing when He provides and realizing that it comes from Him and not just “coincidence” or my own personal success. It is recognizing His PRESENCE.
I want to be like my dog following my mother around. I want to be constantly at the feet of the one whom I know provides blessings and I know will always be there…
**This reminds me of another analogy (work with me, here): mother ducks and their ducklings. In the science world, there is a term called “imprinting'” which describes when the ducklings first hatch, they must cling to one of the first animals they see! This is to provide protection and to ultimately learn how to live: behaviors, diet, dangers, and more. Usually this ends up being the mother of the animal. The ducklings follow this new leader and follow them EVERYWHERE for guidance…
I have been given new life. When I “hatched,” I looked to You, God. I must remember to cling to You and to follow Your every move because I know it provides safety and I can learn Your will for my life.
Lord, I am reborn as I have been given new life! You are my Father – I need to cling to You immediately to provide safety and to learn from You! Lord, may Your will be done. Father, I want to be right at Your feet! I want to follow You everywhere because I know where You lead me is safe and fruitful. God, I know You love me! I want to see You move in the tiniest moments of my life and in my relationships with others. I am Your servant. You are my master. Abba, I need Your presence. I need You. I am fully relying on You and You alone through this fundraising and beyond. Please remind me of Your presence when I stray. Lord, be with me when I stumble. Father, protect me when I sin again and again. I want nothing more than to be in a relationship with You no matter the cost. Amen.
