My team and I have a spent the past two weeks door-to-door evangelizing. This throws me way outside my comfort zone and I am ashamed to say my attitude has not been the greatest. I struggle with the culture here and the way they evangelize. It seems invasive compared to what I am used to in America. It appears at times as though our translators are forcing people to become saved – most people here will agree to anything we say or ask simply because we are Americans. It seems as though we are stringing Christianity as bait in front of these people who are looking for miracles and then walking away leaving behind empty promises and false hope. I have struggled this month. A lot.
I wonder sometimes if Jesus is enough. I hate to admit that. I believe deep down inside that He IS and that He supplies all of our needs. The Bible promises us this. Sometimes though, my head gets in the way of my heart and I find myself struggling with the “whys.”
I hear the stories and see the faces of the poor, the hurting,
and abused. I meet a beautiful, Christian mother whose face lights up with joy even as her eyes fill with tears. Her children huddle around protectively as she speaks of her husband who comes home drunk and becomes physically abusive. I pray over a little girl whose entire right side of her body is paralyzed and when nothing happens, I pray again. Another lady has a glaze over her eyes as she explains how desperately she wants to see. We pray over person after person. We pray for minds to comprehend, for mouths to be fed, for confusion due to influence from the witch doctor to be lifted. The sinner’s prayer is repeated after us multiple times in a day. We promise joy and peace. We promise their needs will be met. We are hugged and thanked and welcomed back and as I walk away, my heart sinks even lower. I am spending 15 minutes with these people. I am making big promises.
And then I am walking away.
I am reminded of the gospel of John and how quickly the disciples would lose belief in the Jesus that they followed and gave their lives up for. Even after daily walking with Him and watching Him work miracles. Chapter after chapter refers to them believing only after seeing miraculous signs and wonders – and then faltering in that belief until the next miracle is performed.
Why are we as humans so quick to doubt and discredit the great and mighty works of our Savior? I don’t want to falter in my belief any longer and my prayer is that my face would be set like flint focused on Christ, the author and perfector of my faith. God is opening my eyes to the power that even the mere mention of His name holds. The power to change lives and circumstances and the power to heal. I am amazed by this.
And the other day, I had the opportunity to experience His healing power firsthand …
To be continued……
