I come to each of you completely humbled by the lessons God has been teaching me. This month ended up looking vastly different from what I originally anticipated and blogged about. We ended up not having the opportunity to work with the children in our neighborhood as they are on their summer holiday. (I know weird, right?!) We instead found ourselves behind the scenes making beds, cleaning, doing laundry, and picking people up from the airport. I struggled with the same questions you may be asking now, “couldn’t I have done this sort of work in the states instead of leaving everything I own and everyone I love and embarking on this crazy journey?” It has been taken me a couple weeks, and lots of home-sickness, tears, and chocolate to reach this point but God has gently whispered that I needed to learn what it looks like to be a servant. I needed to learn to lay myself down and have a great attitude in the midst of the mundane. This is a requirement before I can go out into the world and minister to the needs of others. The reality is that my team has been a blessing to our missionary contact, Kevin. Our work was not small in his eyes. The tasks we completed were essential to the missionaries here taking a couple weeks off to attend and serve at a local conference. I needed to put aside my selfish pride and recognize that God is still at work even in the seemingly “small” moments.
Servant hood was one lesson of many during this challenging month. Living in inten
se community in a foreign country has been a difficult adjustment for this loner who loves her independence, daily showers, hair straightener, and personal space. My weaknesses are being showcased and I am no longer resisting change. I am ready and willing to be molded by the hands of God even though it hurts like crazy sometimes.
God has also been teaching me the true meaning of surrender. I have been clinging so tightly to my selfish wants and desires that my hands have not been open to His will for my life. I have kept one foot here on the mission field and the other firmly planted back at home and that is no longer okay. God has been lovingly reminding me that I simply need to be still and know that He is GOD. I can trust Him. I can trust Him with my finances. I can trust Him with my boyfriend. I can trust Him with my future. BE STILL. This has been the hardest lesson yet for me to learn and I am still in the process of relinquishing full control.
