Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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          “Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to.  

          They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens.  They have their savings account.  

          They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live.  They have life figured and mapped out.  
                                                                                     They don’t depend on God on a daily basis.  
          The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.”  
                                                                                                                                                                       -Francis Chan

One of the deciding factors in signing up for The World Race was the conviction I experienced after reading the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan.  This book basically made me feel like crap.  I have never before had a book become so real to me.  So convicting, that even now, months later,  I cannot stop thinking about the words on those pages.  The Holy Spirit used that book to open my eyes to the lukewarm life I was living.  I realized that I have absolutely no idea what faith looks like.  I had reached a point in my life that I was proud of.  I had a good job that I loved, I was padding my savings account “just in case,” and I was financially stable.  Financially stable but spiritually faltering.  Just as the quote above showcases, when anything unexpected occurred, I was able to handle it on my own.  Isn’t that what being independent looks like?  I would turn to myself to get out of financial trouble, to loved ones when I was feeling weak, or scared or in the midst of a crisis, to my pastor or accountability partner when I was hurting spiritually.  I would turn to every single person in my life except for God.  Everyone except God.  How had I allowed myself to get to the point where I didn’t think I needed God?  That thought today makes me sick to my stomach.  I am NOTHING apart from God.  I am a sinful creature who on her own, stirs up dissension, bites and devours those I claim to love, who seeks to glorify self and petty indulgences rather than the creator of this universe, my Abba Father.  I am nothing on my own and I finally recognize my desperate need for the Holy Spirit’s movement in my life. 



So fast forward to the last couple months.  All I can say is WOW.  This process is truly teaching me what faith looks like.  Faith is tough.  It’s scary.  It’s real.  I am putting everything on the line here.  I have literally handed over my ALL to God.  My finances (Lord, if you need to me hand over the last pitiful amount in my savings account to pay for my trip, I will.)  My job (I already told my boss I was leaving, what if my support doesn’t come in and I am left jobless next year and unable to go on this trip?) My entire next year (God, please, please, PLEASE break me next year and build me back up to reflect you.  May I experience You and hear you and may my desires be modeled after Yours. May I never take one step outside of Your will.  May next year in actuality not be about me at all but may I have an intense passion for the hurting and the lost.  May I be made less so that you may be lifted up and may ALL glory and honor be brought to Your name.) My relationship with my boyfriend (spending an entire year apart from the man I want to marry is intimidating at best, downright scary at worst.) And the stresses of this preparation stage I am in (some days I just want to scream from feeling overwhelmed by paperwork, raising funds, and the slow pace of watching my support come creeping in) At times, I think I have faith down pat and then, just as I begin to become confident in the knowledge that God is in control, I have days like yesterday where I wake up with anxiety building up in the pit of my stomach which grows throughout the entire day.  However, I can finally stand firm in the knowledge that God is in control.  I have a very limited amount of perspective.  He sees the entire picture.  And with that knowledge finally not only in my head, but also in my heart, I give Him my entire life.  I relinquish all control.  I know that He has the best in store for me and I fully trust Him to bring His plan for my life to completion.  And maybe that, in all essence, is the true meaning of faith.