It’s hard to believe that Tanzania is behind me and already I find myself in Uganda. I sit here now in a little hut overlooking the Nile River. There are monkeys jumping around in the bushes near my tent and crocodiles lounging in the river. I am thankful for the opportunity to process this past month before beginning again anew. Just one week ago, I was preparing to leave the race. Today I find myself completely transformed and absolutely amazed by the ways God gently reached down and recaptured my attention and my heart. I’ll start from the beginning …
Sunset over the Nile
One day we were walking home from church and just like every other day in Africa, we found ourselves surrounded by dozens of kids walking with us as they fought with one another to get in position to hold our hands. The pastor walked up to us with a huge smile on his face and said, “the love of God is like a magnet. It draws people.”
He’s right. We encountered it over and over again these past few weeks as God claimed Morogoro for His own. It was incredible to watch Him at work in tangible ways performing miracles and bringing soul after soul into precious relationship with Himself.
I wish I could tell you all the stories as there are many but my favorite includes the salvation of a Muslim woman who interrupted us when we had barely begun to share the gospel announcing that she was ready to accept Christ. Her reasoning: she could see Jesus on us.
And of course there’s Grada who I spoke of in my last blog. She was paralyzed from the waist down and was healed after a simple prayer. Each time we visit her and pray over her, her mind becomes clearer. She is speaking now, garbled words which praise God for her healing, and I am amazed at the transformation which has taken place within just a few weeks.
Satan always attacks when he feels threatened and somehow in the midst of the most intense ministry month of the race so far, I found myself feeling apathetic and spiritually malnourished. My team was spiritually attacked as were many other teams. I wasn’t strong enough to stand this test of faith. I was hungry. I was tired. I was broken. I made the phone call to AIM saying that I was done. I was heading home. I was tired of living every second outside of my comfort zone with preaching, door-to-door, team dynamics, and intense African spirituality. I was longing for my familiar church and loved ones back at home. I couldn’t do it anymore.
And then God got my attention …. He always does, it seems.
I packed my stuff. I said my goodbyes. I sent emails home. I was out of there. I thought my destination was the airport but God had other plans.
I joined up with my squad leaders who were staying with the infamous Team Se7en who had just been robbed at gunpoint. We were all in a state of brokenness for various reasons, theirs obviously much less selfish than mine. We met together in worship one evening and I found I couldn’t even sing. I felt completely empty. I kept thinking, “I am at the end of myself. I have nothing to give.” All I could do was repeatedly cry out the name of Jesus. For much of the evening my heart was sobbing out His Name.
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.”
“Before you call I will answer; while you are still speaking I will hear.” -Isaiah 65:24
I am reminded again of how much power the name of Jesus holds for that night something began to happen in my heart. Over the next couple days, I forgot my reasons for wanting to go home. The heaviness in my heart went away. My passion for the mission field and my love for people, and for my Savior was restored and suddenly I realized that I was right in the middle of God’s will for my life and that there was no way I could walk away from the race early.
I love that there is so much power in the name of Jesus that all I had to do was call upon Him when I could find no other words. And God showed up, He answered my unspoken prayer by reminding me of the deepest desires of my heart. I thought I knew what I wanted but I would have been walking into selfishness and complacency. He has greater plans for me and He gently brought me restoration, renewal, and unconditional love.
I am really happy to still be here.
“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him and He will do this; He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret – it leads only to evil.” -Psalm 37
Oh, and by the way, Morogoro is absolutely beautiful.
