Hey everyone!
I can’t believe its already been three weeks since I have been home and since my mom has been out of surgery. Time definitely didn’t move this fast while I was on my trip. To update you all on my mom, she is doing good. Surgery went really smooth; she had a wonderful surgeon, and she is recovering quite nicely. She still has some pain and can’t overdue it but that is to be expected for awhile after surgery. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. The meals, cards, flowers, cookies, prayers — we are truly blessed.
As soon as I arrived home things were moving full speed with my mother preparing to go into surgery. Almost as soon as I got back, I had forgotten that I had ever left in the first place. I started immediately on a parasite cleanse which made me sick and jet lag had me completely exhausted for the first two weeks I was home. And now that the dust has finally settled I realize I cannot run and I cannot hide from…transition.
I’ve decided to sit down with the Lord this week and ask him about my trip. Things like: What did I get out of these last 8 months on the missions field. How did this trip “change” me. Did I learn any new spiritual disciplines and how will I implement those into an American lifestyle that is fast paced and full of to do lists. While I am excited to sit down with the Lord and unpack this great gift, the scariest question I have is, WHAT NOW?
Sitting in this season of limbo has been a transition in itself. On the race there is ministry and community and both are enough to keep someone busy for an entire day. There are no roots but there is routine. There is no getting paid for what we do, but there is a great sense of fulfillment when we lay down at night after a long day of ministry. There is a feeling of purpose and completion.
Often in the moments of stillness at home I have to remind myself that God called me back here for this season which happens to consist of a lot of free time and space. My mom asks me often if I wish I was in Africa with the rest of squad and the truth is, I don’t anymore. I KNOW I am where I am supposed to be. I know that this time I have with my family before I get a job in missions and depart again is a gift — but I have a hard time accepting it. Everyday the enemy torments me with reminders of my small bank account. He loves to remind me that I have no job, no sense of financial security, no health insurance, and no degree, so while I know I am where I am supposed to be, I am often stuck in my own head thinking about what I can sell so I can escape this torment of financial restlessness.
I suppose after raising nearly $17,000 for this trip, the Lord is wondering where my trust in Him is. I have to remind myself daily that if the Lord called me home to take care of my mom as ministry for now then He has ALL of the details worked out.
Home comes with a lot of distractions. On the race we have to fight for our quiet time with the Lord and it is no different here. There are so many distractions at home; different distractions than the race, but still things that can get in the way of our alone time with the Lord and I have come to realize how truly important that is. I know for me, I have to fight for it because if I do not spend my mornings with God, my days go a lot differently. What a better way to start the day than waking up each morning and having coffee and relationship with the creator of this universe. How awesome that we can meet God in this place and that He is just as eager for it.
SO.. How does one transition smoothly?
I do not think after spending 8 or 11 months in poor, hurting, and broken countries that there is a magic cure for transitioning perfectly. But here is what I have learned along the way.
1. Are you praying more than you are worrying?
2. Are you spending more time with the Lord than listening to the enemy’s lies?
3. Join or lead a small group but find a christian community, it will help make losing your race community easier. ( We have many tools about discipleship now, use them to lead your own group and incorporate your favorite race worship nights or team times into them )
4. Volunteer. Serving is where we come alive so keep doing it in your own community.
5. I have found that listening to worship music and coloring in the adult color workbooks is very therapeutic. Let your mind rest.
6. Start your day off with the Lord, I promise you will not be disappointed.
7. Make some of your favorite international dishes for your family or friends, Have fun!
For now I wanted to give a little update on how life back home has been, but I am excited to share more with y’all soon about who the Lord is and How I got to know his heart on this trip.
