Over the past few weeks, I’ve sat down multiple times to write a post about training camp, but haven’t been able to find the words. Sure, it’s easy to describe the physical challenges like the 7 am workouts, bucket showers, sleeping scenarios, intense heat, and itty bitty food portions, but its the spiritual and emotional aspect that I’m having trouble putting into words. People told me training camp would be difficult. That was understatement.
The first few days of training camp were focused largely on ourselves and our relationship with Christ. We had to dig deep down into our ourselves and deal with things we had been covering for so long. We were asked to put our pain out into the open, to reveal it to not only God, but our squad mates as well. If there’s one thing I’m really uncomfortable with, it’s vulnerability, and that’s what these ten days thrived on. I opened up parts of myself to people I barely knew. I cried, multiple times. I let myself feel, and I felt the pain of things I had covered like it was brand new.
Training camp broke me.
But the beautiful thing is in these broken places that I revealed to my squad and God, He started to fill the cracks in me up with much more beautiful things. I prayed for people in their pain, and they prayed over me. I stood in the middle of a circle as people in my squad physically touched and prayed over me. I let go of all of my hurt, regrets, and feelings that told me I wasn’t ready or wasn’t good enough for this step. In turn I received feelings of hope, comfort, and peace. I was given this group of people, hand chosen by Him, as the strongest support system I’ve ever felt. In my life, it wasn’t often that when hard situations arose someone asked, “Can I pray for you?” At training camp, that was always the first response, and it was a beautiful thing. I watched my relationship with Christ in those ten days grow in ways I never imagined possible in such a short time, and I watched as strangers turned into a family within this short time frame. God sure did do a whole lot of work in my heart over those ten days, and I wish I had the ability to put that into words. This next year is going to push me in so many ways, but I have never felt more ready to see where He leads me and let Him mold my heart to be more like His.
Introducing J Squad: the beautiful souls I get to share the gospel with.
In order to launch with my squad in August, I still need to raise $1,336. If you feel led to donate and be a part of spreading the gospel to the nations, I would greatly appreciate your support.
