Before I went on the race, I was told that I would change. I knew that, and I welcomed that. I want my heart to be molded more like God’s. This month in Swaziland, He’s been teaching me about myself and I can already feel the transformation of my heart beginning. If there’s one thing He’s showed me about myself this month in particular, it’s that I’m great at running away from my problems and turning to false comforts. At home, I hated confrontation. It was so much easier for me to just pretend that problems didn’t exist. If I needed comfort, I would go to things like Netflix, social media, or my friends to help me forget about problems as opposed to facing them.
The World Race doesn’t allow me to do that. If I’m struggling with something, I can’t reach for my phone and text a friend. I don’t have wifi to turn to to escape my thoughts. I don’t have social media whenever I want to mindlessly scroll. I can’t binge watch a Netflix show. Instead, I’m forced to deal with my issues in that moment. Instead of turning to other people first, I’ve learned to turn to God first, which I should have been doing all along. Pushing problems down and never dealing with them just causes them to build up, which I’m incredibly guilty of doing in the past. He’s showing me that false comforts are just bandaids, a temporary cover up. He’s the only one who can truly heal those wounds, if only we open up our hearts to Him.
My prayer for all of you this month is that you turn to Him first in difficult situations, that false comforts aren’t your first resort, and that you find the strength through Him to deal with problems instead of covering them. I pray that you choose over and over again to take comfort in Him.
