This is
an excerpt from my journal. 
Dated
November 14th, My Birthday.
When
asked what I wanted for my birthday,
I
replied, “A Miracle.”
And this
is only the beginning!
“Jesus, thank you for using me
and for loving me unconditionally.
Help me to have faith in your power especially when put in situations
that only your power can succeed in.
Please remove doubt and fear and fill me with confidence in you. Amen.”
“God is so good and so faithful. The boys took me “out” to lunch – picked up a sweet potato
and then went to a noodle vender for them. Afterwards we were walking back and a man was sitting on the
side of a shop begging. His feet
were only nubs (sp?) (no toes). I
had to stop and felt like this was the opportunity that I have been praying so
hard for. Last night I really
prayed about being used by God to heal, in my mind I kept picturing an older
women with a purple scarf, her hands or fingers were nubs. I could see myself holding her hands,
kissing them and praying for healing.
This opportunity, today, looked different, but yet God kept
telling me “Have faith, my daughter”.
I was shaking and on the verge of tears. The boys were very encouraging and Dan asked about my
motives for praying for the man, which of course there is some selfishness in
wanting to see the power of God, but also I am desperate for healing/power to
be a norm of life (seeing heaven on earth). He also reminded me that this wasn’t my only chance, that
there will be plenty of other opportunities to pray healing for people.
But I knew that if I didn’t practice my faith right then, it
would be even harder the next time.
I can’t describe how difficult it was for me to do such a simple thing,
but finally I knelt down, glanced at his face, covered his feet with my hands,
and prayed for healing and especially prayed for his heart that he will be
glorifying Christ that night. Then
I couldn’t even look at him as I walked away in tears. Maybe I didn’t look b/c I wanted to
only have faith and no doubt.”
Through this encounter with faith, and stepping out of my
comfort zone, I began to sense my Father’s heart for His people. After praying for this Child of God, I
heard God telling me, “Have peace, my daughter” and then He, the King of Kings,
Lord of ALL creation thanked ME for “practicing,” for reaching out to “the
overlooked,” “the unloved.” The
more I process through what God has been teaching me this month, the more I see
and feel His unconditional love.
That is what I am seeking, love that has no boundaries, love that sees
only deep within the heart, love that chooses those whom no one else cares
about, love that is only possible through the eyes and heart of Jesus
Christ. Oh, to have that kind of
love! Imagine what this world
would look like if each of us had that kind of love. Just think what kind of difference one person could
make. Will you be that person?
