India is a big country. Think of it like the United States: there are multiple states, each with their own government, food, dress and language.
Currently I’m in A-P, located South-Central part of the country. They speak Telegu, not Hindi, here. The women wear Punjabis if they are young or unmarried. After marriage or a certain mature age, you can begin to wear the ever colorful, elegant saree. For example, I am 27 and unmarried. I should wear only Punjabis. At 35, I can wear a saree even if I remain unwed. On the flip side, once married, a woman can wear either, depending on her husband’s preference. No matter the outfit, your shoulders must be covered. In most cases you simply purchase the fabric sets or saree you like and take it to the tailor. The tailors have creative freedom to design the tops as they feel lead. It creates an array of designs, patterns and shapes that leaves you without the fear of showing up somewhere in an identical outfit as another woman. Punjabis are all designed with sleeves. Sarees come with a panel at the end of the 6 meteres of fabric specifically for the undershirt. It is more like a 90210 midriff top or competition cheerleading uniform.
Here in the land of no knees and no shoulders, the midriff is perfectly acceptable. You don’t even have to be a model. Dare to Bare isn’t applicable, because there isn’t any risk involved. It is totally fine to be a 65 year old woman with a significant belly, and wear your saree in a manner that exposes that to the world. There is of course a way to tie the saree so that the hem of the saree comes to meet the hem of the little top. This method has the added benefit of keeping any back fat under wraps as well. But again, there is not cultural faux pas for exposing back or stomach…two things that I would much prefer to cover than my knees or my shoulders.
India breaks another few of the life lessons I learned in Middle School. Good girls have one piercing-in their ears, only- A single hole for cute accessories. I remember buying magnetic earrings at Claire’s one summer. When my mom came to pick me up at my friend’s house, I strategically placed the magnetic earring behind my first holes. It took only a minute for my mother to notice and say, “NO you did not Sarah Elizabeth!” I played along the whole care ride home and it was hilarious. However, as you read, I haven’t forgotten her reaction to the additional piercing idea. Here in India, every other if not all of the women have ears and NOSE piercings. Some even have cartilage piercing that hold a stud with a chain that connects to the Hindu flourish earring in their traditional hole. Little girls here don’t have to worry about their mom’s yelling at them for getting additional piercings; they are probably the ones who took them to get it done!
A few of our girls decided to be more cultural and get their noses pierced too!
One more lesson I learned seems to be contradictory to the culture in which I now find myself. Tattoos. How many of you have tattoos that your parents pre-approved of? Not me. I don’t have any. There are a few people I know with tattoos I like and think look good. However, for the majority of people with tattoos, I wonder, “what were you thinking?!” Here tattooing is common. Its actually henna. No needles are involved and they last ony two weeks. Henns allows for the people to not only be covered in designs, pictures and words, but to constantly change them. I realize henna is different than the tattoos my mother strongly rejected; however, the practice is the same. Get something drawn on your body for two weeks at a time. When the time comes, you can change it up: change the design, change the location, change the color. It was fun to have a small design on my wrist and another between my ankle and heel, yet it makes me want more. I can now, from personal experience, understand why my mother reinforced the idea that a Southern Belle didn’t get tattoos. The small flower design on my wrist was fun, but would I want it there in a year? Thus the benefit of henna-I liked it, now its gone and I don’t have any sad feelings.
Recap: I’m in India and I can’t show my knees or my shoulders. I also can’t smile at a man, lest I mean to flirt with him. Yet, I can show my midriff, get my noise pierced and be covered in henna, without making a scene!
The world is full of things to experience, practices to observe and lessons to learn!
I love every minute of the exploration. I hope you enjoy doing it with me.
I love every minute of the exploration. I hope you enjoy doing it with me.
