So, as I first began to write out reasons why I’m glad I came to Project Search Light, I found myself writing a nicely put together, bullet-pointed, neat and tidy blog… But as I read it through, quite frankly, I found myself a bit bored… And, if I was on the receiving end, I don’t think I’d be very compelled to keep reading…
And so, it got me thinking… How has PSL really impacted me? How has God worked in me even during this short week?
Arriving home from the Race turned out to be more difficult than I expected… When I left final debrief in South Africa, my heart and mind were full of peace, excitement, and even optimism about coming home. God worked so powerfully in and through me on the Race, convincing me both of my identity in Him and His power in me that I was sure there would be no stopping me when I got home…!
Que the storm clouds, thunder, and Seattle rain scene… Or simply, my head coming out of the clouds and my feet firmly on the ground…
For the first couple weeks or so, being home was nice… hot showers, good food, sharing stories and photos, seeing friends and family… but I quickly found myself disoriented… alone… broken… confused…
I’d heard about PSL months before the end of the Race, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure whether I’d come. I was a little confused about what it was and why I’d really want to go or need it after the Race. Well, I decided to take AIM up on the invitation to fly out to Georgia… I figured, if nothing else, it would be a time to reconnect with my squadmates, who had become my family over the last year…
Upon arrival, I could tell I was back on WR turf, in the WR lifestyle… another opportunity to breakout the sleeping bag and sleeping pad…! BUT, what I didn’t know was all the strength, confidence, comfort, encouragement, and wisdom I’d gain from feasting on worship, prayer, and insightful breakout sessions…
Throughout the last week, I’ve gained perspective…
First of all, I needn’t be afraid or concerned about all that I’ve felt since being home. The disorientation is not only common, but normal. We’ve had the “bricks” of our foundation kicked, so of course being home post-Race will be different than being home pre-Race. I’m not alone, and neither are you!
My first couple days at PSL were marked with a few tears as my heart sorted through what I was feeling… Learning to readjust to family life after walking through “feedback” and even “team time” on the Race is difficult…
One of the sessions was on family dynamics. The speaker spoke from personal experience of her broken relationship with her father. How she had worked through anger, hurt, and brokenness by setting boundaries and persevering through the relationship. After seven years, her father’s life was markedly changed. Now she attests to having only pure love for him; like a supernatural love she never imagined possible before. It gave me encouragement to persevere in my own difficult family relationships. She reminded us that if we’re willing to go to the ends of the earth to reach the world, we can’t let our family get left behind!
Though I haven’t been home long, the question of, what’s next? has been a constant curiosity. It’s like a question that begs an answer I can’t give. Over the last year, I’ve learned a lot about myself. But what does any of that mean for the next year? And beyond? What is my calling?
During one of the breakout sessions, we had opportunity to sit with a squadmate and interview each other to get a better picture of ourselves. Through the exercise, I gained a clearer understanding of my “sweet spot;” where my wants, gifts, and the world’s needs coincide. Our life experiences give us snapshots of the blueprint of who God made us to be. Turns out, God made me for more! And, you were created for more, too!
Being home, I found apathy slowly set in… The motivation and zeal that launched and sustained me on the Race, began to evaporate. At PSL, there were speakers who understood this… They understood what we felt coming home and validated it, but knew we couldn’t stay in that place. Through their words of wisdom at each session, I was inspired to persist. During the evening coaching sessions, I found further strengthen as I felt heard, validated and encouraged to persevere.
Though the World Race has come to an end, it’s a time of new beginnings. God is doing a new thing not only in us, but also throughout the world. At PSL, new opportunities were presented. Hungry for more, I found myself inquiring about nearly every opportunity… overseas missions, domestic ministry, organizational service… Countless opportunities are at our feet; a new beginning!
And so, though PSL may seem like a small, little week in Georgia, it is much more… I’m glad I hadn’t committed to a job I couldn’t interrupt or written off PSL altogether… It has truly been an endcap and a springboard… A place to grieve and celebrate my Race… To be inspired and strengthened to move forward in what is before me… A lifegiving time of refreshment… reuniting with my squad family, listening to words of LIFE, considering NEW things… I’m leaving PSL strengthened knowing that just as God walked me through the Race, He will continue to walk me through this year and the ones to come! And so, if you’re a Racer thinking about PSL, please just… GO!
