The first full day in Nepal the Lord told me very clearly, “You will be led forth in joy and gladness.”
Flash forward to later on that same day and I would be throwing up for 12 out of 16 hours on a bus ride over the worst roads imaginable.
I began a chess game with God at training camp. When before camp He told me that He would fill me with courage when I needed it. I didn’t realize that that meant the need for courage was imminent. I looked courage up later… It means walking through something even though it scares you.
Bishop to King 4.
I recognize that God told me something, it happened and he came through. Alright, lesson learned.
And then in Nepal after being told about joy and gladness – the very same day I am the sickest I have been on the race. And I don’t feel glad about it. I still trust Him explicitly. I know joy and gladness are coming because He cannot lie. I have faith in Him. But I quietly move my rook, ready my knight and tell my pawns to brace for impact.
I had started to strategize with God.
I trust Him. But He has used so many unexpected things that if He says right, I look left as well. If He said the word “joy” to me again, I would start taking Airborne. I realized all of this around 3 am while leaning over a toilet, sick again at the end of my month in Nepal. That same night at a worship session the Lord told me, “Good things are in store.” And then here I was, sick for the third time in a month and I was so weary and disheartened that I had my first painful sense of homesickness. Thinking of my family, going about their afternoon in the states, not knowing that I was up as well, feeling beat down.
So there I was chiding myself almost, saying “Is this how its going to go? A hardship right after you speak a word of encouragement to me?” And then I had an about face because God was giving me a sweet proimse ahead of time, knowing that hard times were ahead. It was Him looking out for me, saying “Hold on to me, Ive got you. Joy is coming.” And sure enough, an abundance of joy came.
I dont want to play chess with God or strategize about how He’s going to get me from Point A to Point B or know every curve in the road. Where is the fun in that? No, I will not brace for the unexpected. I will enjoy my life, enjoy my journey, knowing that whatever lies ahead, He’s got it under control.
I forfeit my chess match. I burn the board. And I say to Him, what about Follow the Leader instead? I could use some practice at that one…
