When He Calls,
It had only been a few months of knowing what the world race was when I knew I had an interest in going. I didn’t know too much about it, all I knew was that this experience would change my life forever.
I graduate in August and have been getting the age old question “What are your plans for after graduation?”. And I kept answering with the same old answer of “I have absolutely no idea, I am focused on making it to graduation and that’s it”. And I would continue to be upset with the fact that I really didn’t have a single idea of what to do.
I have always feared rejection. In putting myself out there and being turned down. That in revealing my true self no one would like me or want to be around me. That lie was THE lie I had been believing for most of my life.
So, after having no idea what to do after graduation I decided to take a leap of faith and just apply for the race. I had no idea what I would be asked, or what would even come of it. All I knew was that this was training for me to trust the Lord and just do what I believe he has called me to do. It was never about making sure I was going on the race or getting people to like me right away. It was for me to trust that when the Lord calls me to do something that I do it without fear.
After I finally finished the online portion of the interview I knew a phone call was coming. That I would need to be myself over the phone for the person on the other end of the line to truly get a chance to see who I am. I went in with no fear and felt fairly confident afterwords. Which was something that has been a struggle, to be vulnerable and open with anyone, let alone someone I just met.
There was no timeline, I didn’t have a list of things to do from there, it was waiting time. Which is also hard. When you put yourself on the line like that most of us want to know right away the answer. Or if we ask God a question we want that answer as fast as possible, so that we don’t have to sit and wait, but he really likes to make us wait. Not only do we need to be fully obedient for whatever he has for us but we need to do that with patience.
Literally TWO DAYS after I got off the phone I got another phone call. I was in the middle of class and instantly got excited. I didn’t even know who the call was from, it could be from a telemarketer for all I know. But the chance that it was the call I had been waiting for was awesome! So I got out of my chair and went outside, I left class immediately. I listened to the voicemail and it was THE call!! I didn’t know if I had been accepted or not, but oh my goodness I am already getting the call. So I call back and after months and months of praying it WAS the call, I GOT ACCEPTED!! I was so excited I couldn’t even focus in class anymore. I put my trust in the Lord and put myself out there and WOW it happened!! 🙂
In all of my failure, all of my weakness, and all of my brokenness. I was accepted. For being the girl who has a hard time letting people in, I did it. I opened up and was as vulnerable as I had ever been, and I got it.
I know that in all of this, His will be done. And that I am as broken as the next person. But I know what God is calling me to do, at least until November of 2016.
So for those asking, I have been called to serve and will do whatever I can to show anyone I meet the love that Jesus has for them. No matter where I am, I know that I am where I am supposed to be and thats enough.
“Take me deeper
than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be stronger.”
I love you Lord and although I have no idea what to expect. I am so thankful that this is what you have chosen for me to do next.
