HIV:Something I learned about at school beginning at a young age, perhaps in middle school.I learned about it in high school health class and my college physiology class as well, the depth of the lessons increasing with my age.It always seemed like an other-worldly condition, something that you heard statistics about but never really put names and faces to the numbers.
And even living here in Swaziland, the country with the highest rate of HIV in the world, it took me about 10 days to really feel the weight of the epidemic.It happened quickly and unexpectedly.My team was piling into a van, getting ready to leave the care point we were at for the afternoon.After cramming 50 or so children and 10 adults into a 12 X 12 concrete room and talking about Jesus as a friend, it was time for us to leave and for the children to be fed their daily portion of rice and beans.As our van pulled away, we noticed the children standing in 2 separate lines.And when we asked about the 2 separate lines, our driver explained that one line was for the children with HIV; they needed to be fed first to make sure they got enough nutrition to take their anti-retro virus medicine.
Thats when it happened.My heart broke.It split into 2 halves as we sat in a minivan that was struggling to drive through the mud-covered road.These little ones weren’t a number, they weren’t a statistic.These were the little ebony faces that we giggled with, held, wiped away tears, hugged, and twirled.And many of them were living with a disease that I couldn’t even wrap my mind around.I knew that many adults in Nsoko are HIV-positive, but I never really thought about the little angels I got to play with every week.
Can you imagine being born with a disease and knowing that you need to take strong medicine every day so that you don’t get really sick, and one day growing up to find out that it was passed through to you from your mother?I can’t even imagine the heartache of that situation; what do you do with that knowledge?Burst out in anger, or fall down weeping?If your mother were still alive, what would you say?And how would she feel?Would the guilt be too much for her to handle?How would you get the proper education to learn about eradicating this disease so that your generation, your country, can survive?What if your heart just aches to be loved, but you know that if you grow up and let anyone too close, you could be risking their life as well?
I don’t have answers.I only have questions that are stirring in my heart as it breaks for the people around me.I am not above any of these people.I am not better than them or smarter than them just because I’m not HIV-positive.If I had been born here, there’s a very high chance that I’d have the disease too.And while I’m here now, there’s not a heck of a lot I can do.I can continue giggling, twirling, and comforting, and pray that each child will know the love and joy that comes from a relationship with Jesus.
Papa, your heart must ache for the people in Nsoko even more than my human heart is able to.I don’t know why this country has succumbed to it, why it is said that it might not even exist in 40 years because of HIV.I know that you don’t want the children or adults to go through the pain and the heartache that this disease brings.Bring hope and restoration to this country, Papa.Fill it with knowledge of true love through your Son.Shower this land with your grace and compassion.Turn all eyes towards you, and repair the hearts that are hurting.
