I wrote a blog about this in month 6 (you can read it here). It’s a story about how you need to focus more on understanding than being understood. I have a different take on it this time (and much shorter too).
If you’ve ever had to interact with someone day in and day out, you understand what it’s like to not always like them. You’re going to have struggles, arguments and disagreements because community living is messy. Broken pieces clash with other broken pieces, and that’s part of being a human.
According to the world, “love” is only sincere when your emotions match your actions. Meaning that I only really “love” someone if I both enjoy their presence as well as doing kind deeds for their benefit. As satisfying as it is to do kind works for people you love, how much more loving is it to do kind works for people you do not like?
So often we get caught up with how much we do not care for another human being, and we act towards them accordingly; yet Christ tells us to “love your neighbor.” That’s a command. Surely we cannot generate good feelings towards everyone! It’s impossible! Then what do you do when you don’t like a teammate, but you’re stuck on a team with them? You’re stuck living with them 24/7, working with them, interacting with them, and often sleeping in small places with them.
What happens when you don’t like a coworker, whom you must see every day?
What happens when you don’t like your family member living in the same home as you?
What happens? What do you do?
Well, according to the world, you act cruelly and passively towards them and in general avoid them at all costs. Let me know how that works out for you. I can tell you personally, that it generates all sorts of poison in my heart and makes me bitter in the end. I would call that being a slave to my emotions and circumstances.
Would you like to break free of those bonds? I’ve learned a secret to life on the race.
When you continuously act kindly towards those whom you dislike, it begins to generate kinder feelings towards them. Although you cannot control your emotions, you can control your actions. You can control what you do.
As C.S. Lewis states in Mere Christianity, “When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.”
I challenge you to try this today and see what happens. Do something radically kind for someone you strongly dislike, and see how your outward actions affect your inner feelings.
