(Read part 1 here and part 2 here)
Physical Location: Mae Sot, Thailand. Month 9. First month with my fifth and final team, Gideon. We worked on staff with nearly all Americans and some alumni World Racers.
One night we had a worship session with the staff. I love worshiping God in song, but for some reason that night I felt nothing. Angrily, I asked God what was going on as I didn’t want to sing or dance or do any of the things I normally do in worship.
“God,” I began praying, “Whatever the root is of this, I don’t care how painful it is, pull it out. I don’t want this. Get it out of me.”
The next day I broke down in tears on the way to ministry. I realized I was only going to my secret place and viewing it as a workout arena, and God was no longer a safe place of refuge or a place I enjoyed, but a workout coach. I had been limiting God and lost my childlike faith and joy.
“You’ve stopped having fun with me, Sarah,” Jesus spoke to me through my tears. “I’ve missed having fun with you.”
I played with Jesus under a waterfall on my off days that month, enjoying the beauty of His creation and falling in love with Him all over again. (I wrote a poem about it, and posted it in a blog: I met Jesus behind a waterfall.)
Physical Location: Otres Beach, Cambodia. Month 10. Cambodia has a weeklong holiday in October, and our team worked at a school that month that closed for the holidays so we went to the beach. Second month with team Gideon. October 2015.
One day at the beach, I fell apart in front of a teammate, Allison. I sobbed to her, “I feel like with each new team I come to the bottom of another mountain. I’ve already hiked up four other mountains, and I’m too tired to hike another one. I don’t feel like climbing any more. I’m tired.”
“On this mountain, where do you see Jesus?” Allison asked me.
The rest of the vision was seen after Allison prompted me with questions to look around my surrounding. It went like this:
I found myself throwing a temper tantrum at the feet of Jesus. Once I looked up, I saw Him reaching down to me with an expression that can only be described if you’ve heard a toddler attempt to say real words—you give them an aww-that-was-so-close-and-adorable-good-try-let-me-help-you kind of look. He wanted to hug me, and I fell into His embrace after He helped me back onto my feet. I buried my head in His chest and fell apart. Waves of relief and peace flooded over me, and He just held onto me.
I pulled out of the embrace to observe what kind of landscape surrounded us. I assumed it would be the wooded forest, but I could see all the trees go on for miles and miles, which meant I was out in the open field.
“I thought there would be flowers here,” I said disconcertedly.
“Not exactly what you expected it would be?” Jesus asked me.
“No. In fact, there’s nothing on the ground at all.” I said, “Plus, I thought I would only get to the open field after the World Race!”
Jesus asked me, “Did I say that would happen?”
“…no,” I responded.
“I warned you it would be difficult out here,” Jesus began, “and that you would fall down, but I also told you that I’d never leave you. I’m still here, and I always will be.”
“Even when I throw temper tantrums like an 3-year-old?” I said as I lifted my eyebrows.
“Yes,” Jesus said. “Even then, I will still be here with you.”
I fell back into the embrace.
Jesus asked me quietly, “You ready to keep going?”
I smiled up at Him, and started walking with Him again.
Physical Location: Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Some friends and I attended International Christian Assembly (ICA) church on October 18, 2015.
During worship something amazing happened to my empty field—flowers started growing up around me. Worship creates a pleasing aroma to God, which means worship grows up flowers in my secret place with Abba.
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These visions excite me because they’re just the beginning stages of my walk with Jesus. What an exciting start to an incredible adventure. I look forward to how Jesus continues to walk with me through this crazy adventure we call life.
Thank you for everyone who has supported me on this World Race. Because of you, I’ve been able to experience Jesus more intimately than ever before. Because of you, I have this story. Thank you for being a part of my story with Jesus.
