It’s taken me 2 months to process what re-entry has been for me. Thanks for being patient as I work through everything.
“How does it feel to be home?”
My words never really feel quite right when I answer. In fact, I don’t think I really have the one word answer that most people are looking for when asking such a “simple” question. So instead, I’ll write the long one.
As a racer, it’s good to not have expectations of what re-entry will be like, so I have tried my best to keep my heart open to whatever “home” may be. So far, I’ve learned these past two months that despite trying not to expect anything, I did anyways- with thinking home would feel like home.
Some parts of home definitely feel like exactly what I wanted and needed; family, friends, Cedar Creek Park, Out ’n Out mac and cheese. And it’s good. But the longer I get comfortable with being back, the more I realize so much of my home isn’t in a place anymore; it’s in living out faith.
Yes, I know that the word home is typically a noun rather than a verb. Before the race, home definitely was a noun for me too. Everything about Cedarburg was comfort. Now seeing Cedarburg from a different perspective though, I am finding I don’t get those same comforts as I did before being at my house or driving through downtown.
At first this was very disheartening. It’s hard thinking that no place will probably be able to give that same feeling again. However, the more I’ve thought and prayed on this, the more God has reshaped my sorrows into thanksgiving. God has shown me this world was never meant to feel like home in the first place. It was his plan from the beginning that home would always be with Him, so honestly it’s kind of silly to think that any place on Earth would give that overwhelming comfort that God gives so easily. So praise God home doesn’t have to be a place; I’m here to accept the comfort of “home” anytime I’m with God.
Now, home is living in God’s freedom. It’s being uncomfortable and stepping out in faith. Home is loving God’s people, and it’s living in His promises. This is a hard way to live, but knowing all the people who did it in the Bible first make it so much easier to accept and desire this lifestyle.
One of my favorite chapters of the bible, Hebrews 11, is full of many examples of people holding and living in faith rather than a place. Abraham being called to go find a place to receive an inheritance, not knowing where he were going. Noah being warned of the flood and trusting in God’s word rather than the people telling him otherwise. Moses choosing to be mistreated with God’s people, rather than the Son of Pharaoh’s daughter because he believed in God’s love. Time and time again, the Bible tells us exactly how we are to live in His faith rather than what our society tells us should be “comfort.”
Hearing of the people who lived out God’s calling despite hardship makes me want to live like this too. To live in faith and to trust in a living God is what home has become, and I couldn’t be more excited to see where this newfound freedom in Christ is going to take me.
Thank you World Race, for rocking my world, for showing me life’s purpose and for giving me a new freedom in the Lord. I had no idea what I was getting into when I started fundraising almost 2 years ago, but wow does the Lord move when you give Him room to. I can’t wait for God to continue what He’s already started!
