I am an average person. If I were a guy, my name would be Joe. But I’m a girl, and Sarah is a commonly average name as well, so that’ll do.
I have an average personality. I’m a golden retriever (if you’re familiar with the animal personality types), interpersonal and relational like pretty much everyone else on the planet. I’m equally introverted and extroverted.
I have average skills. I can keep a tune, write well enough, plunk out a few piano chords, and play the occasional tennis match.
I am so blessed. I am so grateful for all the interests I’ve discovered over the years. And while my shy extrovert often clashes with my antsy introvert, I am thankful for that too.
But so often I can’t help but feel inadequate. Not good enough. Not intellectual, funny, social enough. I’m just average. Plain, little me. What good can I do, what difference can I make?
I’ll admit that what stood out to me about World Race was the traveling (and getting to meet kids all over the world–my childish heart is so giddy). Since studying abroad in Italy two years ago, my restless soul has been searching for the next opportunity to chase down adventures in a foreign land. And I discovered that World Race was the opportunity I’d been waiting for.
During my phone interview, I had no idea what to expect. Through a series of questions, I ended up telling my story. My average, simple story. And yet I sensed a peace, a joy unexplainably powerful and present flow out between the words I spoke.
Then I got the call–“You’re going on World Race!” she said. While I had been expecting an answer for a few months, I was still shocked. Me? They chose me–average little Sarah, who falls in love with a child at first glance and has travel fever? Who hardly knows anything about many of the countries she’s going to and who struggles to read the Bible on a regular basis is being sent, entrusted with a goal and purpose, around the world?
Talk about feeling inadequate. Silly even. As quickly as I accepted, I wanted to run the opposite direction. I’m not good enough for this, I don’t love Jesus enough to be His hands and feet, I don’t deserve to be financially invested in.
Then I awoke to the reminder that I’ll never be enough, never be more than average. “Inadequate” might as well be tattooed on my forehead.
But God is enough. He is proficient, He is the answer to my every human need, gives me just enough to fulfill His purpose. I find such great hope in that promise, knowing I’ll never have to try to be perfect on my own. Or even try. Because He’ll always be there to pick up the pieces and turn them into a beautiful masterpiece.
So keeping the truth of God’s promises close to my heart, I can honestly say that being average is a content place to be. I don’t mind being simple if it only magnifies the majesty of my Creator God. I don’t mind being inadequate if it points toward the One who is the perfect fulfillment of every human heart. And I’m ok with being me, a near twenty-three year old who’d way rather play dress up with kids than dress up for a day at the office. Because despite my flaws and inadequacy, this is who God made me to be.
Yes, I’m still terrified. Afraid I’ll make a mess of things, won’t raise enough support, or straight up fail altogether. World Race isn’t going to be a trial and error experience, it’ll be real life. But even if I fail or don’t seem qualified enough for the job, that just allows all the more room for His grace and mercy.
I am an average person. It’s quite exciting swimming in an ocean of grace. Join me?
