I am about to be vulnerable with you all. I have never really came out to say how I feel about myself or who I think I am.
MAKEUP
This defines who I am and who I have become. I started wearing makeup at such a young age. Too young to be putting on as much makeup as I wear. Makeup became an obsession for me. It became who I was. If I did not like how I did my makeup that day it determined how good I felt about myself.If I liked my makeup that day then I would feel complete and that I was pretty for once.
Growing up in my dating years I dated a few guys who told me that I had to wear makeup. That I was not pretty enough without it. That they would not be seen with me unless I had something on my face to cover up any marks. Since I loved makeup this became who I always was. I would not go to a store with them down the street without makeup. I did not feel any worth with out my makeup since I was told how much better I looked with it.
As I was growing up it was always about what you looked like on the outside. And still in most cases it is. Even in the work force and in the real world do people still just look at the outside. As you mature you want to see the inner beauty in people but this world today is formed by how skinny someone is, how much the makeup can do for someone and how many guys they can get to like them. It is so sickening to see how much satan has ahold of this world. Everyday girls are depressed and have low self-esteem because other girls and guys judge them but yet on the inside these girls could be the sweetest, uplifting and most encouraging people some people will ever meet.
Being on the World Race and seeing girls go without make up, people not judging others and everyone looking at the inside to get to know someone did I realize how much makeup
has a hold on my identify and how long I have been bounded by this.
When we were in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for what they call debrief we spent a night where all the guys on the squad told us how much we are worth, our beauty and our reasons for being here. Satan really used that against me. In the past I have had guys say every single one of these things to me and I tried to believe it until they hurt me and just told me these things so that I would stick around and then the next day degrade me or hit me. So, I just started to write these things off. I've heard it before, it did not work for me and so I am not listening now. Then someone told me. This is not the guys telling you how they feel about you. This is the words from God. Words from the bible about a Proverbs 31 woman. A Proverbs 31 woman is who I strive to be. Satan was trying to once again attack my self worth to anyone.
As I sit and think I realize how much I let the world and TV tell me how much I was worth when only one thing matters and that is GOD.
I now find my identify in God.
I introduce you to No Make-up November.
If you have ever found your identity in makeup then please join me this month for this challenge as we become renewed in God together.
A lot of the girls on my squad have taken this challenge this month. No mascara, no foundation and no eye liner will ever tell us again how much we are worth.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. – 2 Corinthians 4:16
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Write a comment below for any encouragement or if you are taking the challenge so that I can pray for you.
