A year ago I was packing for training camp, not really knowing what I was getting myself into. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this crazy excursion. However I still went to training camp where I felt I was hit in the face with a bag of bricks. It is safe to say that training camp was a very intense 9 days filled with a lot to absorb. After training camp I still wasn’t sure if this was what I wanted to do for 11 months of my life. So I told God that I didn’t want to pursue this, that if he wanted me on the world race he would have to open all of the doors and make it happen. So for the time being I just walked by faith waiting for it all to fall apart or an excuse not to go. I thought that I could out smart God. I didn’t speak to my church until a week before I left and I only asked a handful of people to support me. I wanted to have the World Race experience; I just didn’t want it for 11 months. By launch I had only raised 1/3 of what was needed to stay on the field for the entire time. I thought it would be impossible to raise $10,000 in three months, considering I wouldn't even be in the states.
The two months prior to leaving were very difficult for me. I thought once I left all the fun was over. I even compared the world Race to jail. I knew the date I would be going in as well my release date. (If I raised the support) I honestly thought I needed to jam a years worth of “fun” into two months. I justified so many things I knew were wrong and did things out of character. The week before I left I was terrified and numb. When people asked how I was feeling I would just tell them that I was feeling every emotion. At this point I was unable to look past myself. I have a heart for people and knew that I was going to have the opportunity to do great things. However, I also loved having control and a game plan. Just the thought of not knowing what the next year would hold made me literally sick to my stomach.
October 1st came so I said my goodbyes and hopped on a plane, just going through the motions. The first week of the race was filled with many midnight tears. It’s weird being with a bunch of strangers in a foreign country knowing that they are your new family for the year. (Or we have team changes) I decided to be honest and raw with my team. I desperately wanted to have open hands in all situations. This was also more difficult than I expected. I told God that I was ready for whatever he had in store for me, even if it hurt. As soon as I relinquished my doubts in him I experienced some major changes and started to cherish my time on the race.
I found myself in a predicament. Now I wanted to stay for the 11 months and didn’t have the support. I can only give the credit to God because I received $10,000 in my account in less than three weeks. I’m good, but not that good.
As the months went by I was continuously being refined. (This is not always fun and tends to hurt) In the past nine months I have experienced some of the BEST and absolutely worst days of my life. My heart has been broken for others, I myself have felt broken, and have been privileged to be a part of others healing and growing process. Icing on cake: I have made some amazing lifelong friendships with people going through the same crazy journey.
Today I was reminded of just how much of an impact I am making. I have received heartfelt letters from people before explaining how I have encouraged or inspired them but none like the one I received today. A very dear close friend of mine sent me a letter catching me up to speed on the past nine months of her life. Her letter was filled with horrible news that you associate with a horror film or something that we all think will never happen to us. She proceeded to tell me just how low she had fallen and the things she turned to in hopes to numb and erase some of the pain. She also told me that my devotion to the Lord was what gave her the courage to change and get help.
It is so easy to forget that God really does have a plan and that there is power in prayer. Also just today my teammate received an e-mail telling her about a family that traveled to Uganda to adopt a child. (The country I was in last month) I don’t know all the details but there were complications with the adoption and the dad had to go back to the states. While the mom was still in Uganda she was pulled over and put in jail for having expired medicine and the intent to give them away. Something like that could easily happen to me. I am a blonde white girl with blue eyes traveling to countries where it is not normal to see someone like me. I have waltzed into some of the most dangerous parts of the world with a target on my back and besides from getting my purse sliced in Kenya I have not experienced any harm my way.
Before I left someone told me that God could not protect me from the world. I know I am not invincible but also know that I am in so many people’s prayers and that their prayers have power. My Dad told me today that a woman he knows prays for me but didn’t even know my name. I have been prayed for as “Bob’s daughter” After today I now have a name!
Turns out this 11 month experience called the World race has been nothing like a jail sentence, quite the contrary. I feel more free and happy then I have in my entire life. I know who I am and what I stand for. I actually believe the things I know God says about me. It took me some time to believe in the things I already knew.
I want to encourage everyone reading this that you are making a difference in someone’s life, even if you are unaware of it. We may never know the magnitude of our impact or who has been affected. Just know that our actions make a difference, sometimes for the better and sometimes in a way that damages a person for their entire life.
