I don’t know that I’m adequately able to tell you what this picture means to me. It was taken at a night of worship at my (former) job. If you know that I worked at a mortgage company, that might sound strange, if you know anything about Movement Mortgage and what the CEO wants the company to stand for, it’s not a surprise, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Picking up where I left my story last week, I’d like to give you some insight into how my time in the corporate world lead me to life on the mission field.
In March of 2016 I changed careers and as confident as I was that coming to Movement was the right step for me, I never really understood why until it was time to leave. I gave my notice at school, I explained to my friends and (even harder) my students I was leaving to take a job at a mortgage company, and I packed up my classroom with confidence — but if I would have had an honest conversation with you last year, I had no idea what I was doing or why God wanted me to move to a mortgage company. But I remained obedient.
So I became a student of the mortgage industry, and found that being a student after teaching for 6 years was not easy. I was quickly reminded that I don’t do well with little to do and I was also struck with some anxiety about this huge shift I had made in my life. But I tried to remind myself that I was being obedient to what God called me to do, even though I didn’t understand it. Over my time at Movement this was one of the biggest lessons that God would teach me.
And then God made me wait.
One of the first songs we sang at training camp was “Take Courage” by Bethel music. Every time we sang the words “take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul, it’s in the waiting, it’s in the waiting” tears would fill my eyes. I’d raise my hand and surrender to God overwhelmed and grateful for the last few years of my life and a big part of that was Movement. It was during my time at Movement that God was finally able to teach me to wait, to force me to slow down, because, you know…I’m stubborn. In the fall I struggled when the learning process of a new career had waned. I was coasting and was ready for more. Volume picked up for about a month and then due to some shifts in assignments and the time of year, things slowed down, way, way, WAY down. Boredom sang in again. For me this was a special kind of torture. I was so frustrated, I felt underutilized and wasted. In the midst of this frustration, I was grateful for a company that never left me feeling undervalued.
And so I started talking to God, asking for an understanding of why I was there. It took some time but I felt God was working on me, he was allowing me to rest. He was asking me to be still for a season. What I didn’t understand then is how he was preparing me for what was to come. While I wasn’t consumed with my job or a volunteer role at church I was able to grow more over six months than I had in as long as I could remember.
I look back now, grateful for the time that I had to wait, because I was ready when I was given the next step. The crazy, unbelievable next step that is the World Race. And it fits so beautifully into what God has been doing in my life. Service, traveling, a year where my job is to love the world and share the Gospel. I look at that time when I was uncomfortable in the waiting, where I felt like I was chafing under boredom and stillness and I can say that I am grateful. I am grateful, because God is faithful when I am obedient, and even when I’m not.
I could go on and on about the many blessings that have come to me because of the fifteen months that I spent at Movement Mortgage, including the community and friends that I found there, but I’ll save that for another day. For now, I ask you to consider what area of your life are you frustrated with right now and challenge you to see beyond your understanding. Trust that God is using this time to prepare you for what is ahead.
In the midst of all of the transition over the last three years I had a conversation with a friend about Ephesians 3:20, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” I remember sitting in my classroom talking about how God will use our disappointments and will show up in ways far beyond what we could imagine. Sitting there, in front of my smart board between classes of students I would never have guessed it would have brought me where I am today — a week a way from what will be one of the hardest, most beautiful, adventure filled years of my life. I am ready, willing and full of anticipation to see what other ways God is going to show up.
With love,
