Six months ago I celebrated a milestone birthday and in six months I’ll celebrate another milestone birthday, but this milestone won’t be one of associated with a number. On August 3rd (or possibly 4th) 2017 my squad and I will be heading to Atlanta for launch. When I learned we’d be heading for launch on that day I thought it was perfect timing. It’s been an interesting year for me, in fact a year ago at this time I was starting to share the news that I’d be leaving my position as a teacher to start my new career at Movement Mortgage. If this is news to you and you’re wondering why such a change then I’m not surprised. To be honest, at the time I knew it was the right decision, but I didn’t understand why, I only knew God was prompting me to go. And now He’s prompting me to go again. Now when I meet friends I haven’t seen in awhile I’m sharing the news that I’ll be making another big change.
It’s been an interesting feeling the last couple of months, thinking about time and how it passes. I keep thinking, “where will I be in a year?” or “what country will I be in for Christmas?” (the answer, by the way, is Cote d’Iovire). Oh, how different life will be on the mission field. These thoughts hit me at unexpected times–like when I am walking from the break room back to my desk at work or when I hit the favorites button on my phone to call my best friend to tell her about an awful day at work. In equal parts I am exhilarated and terrified. I love the calling that God has placed on my life and the story he’s writing for me is beautiful and perfect, but what I crave most often is to know what’s coming next.
A while back a wise friend told me that if we knew what was coming, we wouldn’t walk through it. Looking back and looking forward I know that to be true. God’s been working on this for awhile, and I craved it without knowing what it was that I was craving. I was impatient and frustrated and what I learned was that God is working while we wait. It wasn’t until I finally sat still and found peace and comfort in where I was that I found clarity. For a girl who is stubborn and likes to be in control, who likes to know exactly what’s coming next and uses busyness as a distraction that was HARD. And very likely a lesson that God will teach me over and over on this journey and the next. So much of what I’m getting ready to do is about letting go of control and surrendering myself to God’s plan and not my own, in big ways and small. Yes, it will be amazing–I’ll get to see beautiful scenery and far off places. I’ll have my heart stolen by the people that I serve (and then have to say goodbye), I’ll make memories traveling with my squad. But I’ll also be far away from my family. I’ll be hot and sweaty most of the time that I’m away. I’ll sleep in tents, I’ll fight off mosquitos and let’s not even talk about those World Race posts about scorpions. What will challenge me more will be the changing of plans and the lack of organization that will inevitably come some days, as it is sometimes the nature of ministry and endeavors this big. Still, I will surrender. I will surrender because that’s what God calls us to do, to let Him direct our steps, to trust his plan.
So I ask you, what is God calling you to do that scares you? Where have you grown impatient in waiting? Consider what it is that he might be teaching you and surrender to Him, you’ll find freedom there.
