For most of my life I have been consumed with needing to be a part of something, anything. Whether it was a sports team, a club, an activity, a leadership role, the best homework party (the kind where there’s an equal amount of fun and studying, if not more). Especially in college, I spent energy filling my day and making plans with as many people doing as many things as I could.
I panicked at the thought of missing out, being left behind as friendships developed around me, apart from me. I had an irrational fear of losing friends, causing me to always need to make plans, know the plans, be a part of the plans, etc.
And for the first half of this race, that has been my mindset, because my identity still rests in people, what they think and say about me, and my performance, what I do right and wrong.
But in Malaysia the Lord began to bring me through a process of change. I didn't notice the steps I had taken, but often when we take baby steps, that’s just the way it goes. We don’t realize how far we've come until we look back. By debrief, I was spending my free time resting, playing guitar by myself on the roof, journaling or heading to bed early. People would go off on adventures, but I would stay back, confident enough in those friendships without depending on them.
It was something I had heard for the first time back in Honduras (month 3). We are human “beings,” not human “doings.” We don’t have to do anything to be worth it. We are enough simply because our God, who is the spitting image of perfection, created us flawless in his site. So we can just “be,” and rest in Him.
I, Sara Shoup, am more than enough. You are more than enough. And you simply being you is enough. You don’t have to do anything, because our worth is not determined by what we do.
You are not worth more…
if you hit the game winning shot.
if you are a good RA.
if you control your anger and always choose joy.
if you don’t gossip.
if you’re a good friend or quality boyfriend or girlfriend.
if you go on a mission trip.
if you spend months volunteering as an English teacher.
if you teach a Sunday School class.
if you feed fifty orphans.
if you heal the sick.
If you do those things, they will not change your worth, or your identity. They’ll provide you with a journey, unique to you. With some of those things, you’ll create fun memories, experience different blessings, grow in new ways, and have your heart hold and feel things that the Father dreams of His children being able to hold.
By being obedient, the Father will lead you to places you never dreamed. It’s a taste of what life will be like in His Kingdom, but it will not make you more or less valuable to Him.
In what ways are you being a human "doing," trying to fill your worth with your accomplishments or what people say and think about you?
What do you need to do to live as a human being, resting in who you are as a son or daughter of God?
Will you choose today to be at peace with where you are at right now in this exact moment? Can you trust that He has you on a journey of growth and it's not your job to overwhelm yourself with how you're going to get there.
Today, I think it's time for you to be a human being.
