Dear Strength,
Hey there, ole buddy. You and I have been pretty close these last couple years. I have leaned on you in the best moments and in the worst moments. You have been something I go to in moments of panic, stress, fear, and pain. People know me because of you. Sara, the strong one. They have made you my identity. I have made you my identity.
Beginning this journey I turned to you. When I was leaving home and all I wanted to do was cry, I turned to you. When I said goodbye to my mother and I was afraid to let her go, I turned to you. When the police who kept walking by and staring at us at an Indian airport stirred up panic, I turned to you. When staring out the windows at pain and poverty that made my heart hurt, I turned to you. When I was with my team mates and afraid to be vulnerable, I turned to you.
But now, I have to say goodbye.
I realized that you have hindered me from so much. You were my safety net. And though I have made it this far with you, I just can’t anymore.
I now find my strength not in myself nor my own doings, but in The Lord.
Being strong looks different to him. Being strong means being vulnerable. Being strong means opening up. Being strong means letting go. Being strong means I can be a mess before him. Being strong means giving it all to him. Being strong means coming to him when I feel weak. Because when I am weak, he is strong.
My identity no longer belongs to you, but my identity belongs to God. I am his daughter, and through HIM I am strong. His joy is my strength. He is my comforter. He is my protector. He is a good, good Father.
So I guess this is it. This is where we part ways.
Bye Felicia!
Sara
