I love camping. I love roughing it, being in nature, catching/preparing food. I love it all. One really important thing to know when you are camping is not only how to make a fire, but how to keep it going. I became really good at starting, and keeping the fire going.
I also love people. I love learning and seeing new prospective. I loved the uniqueness. But most of all I love friendships.
I promise these will tie together.
In Thailand, I was able to use this skill. We cleared land, put what we just cleared in a pile, and burned it. The pile I was working with was pretty big so I worked along side one of my team mates in order to get the most work done. She was a working machine, and wanted to get through the pile so she could help more. In doing so she kept putting too many branches on the pile, and eventually the fire would go out. I would then stick my face next to the fiery embers, close my eyes, and blow in hopes of starting the flame again. It came back to life, and 5 minutes later she added too many branches again. She had nothing but good intentions in doing so. She was trying to help. This happened about 5 times. I remember becoming so frustrated that I walked away and turned to the Lord. “Father, I am sick of this fire. It is becoming way more complicated than it needs to be. She is smothering the damn thing. Lord show her how to tend it.”
I remember watching her from a distance, in frustration as the fire would come alive then quickly die. After a few attempts she got the hang of it, and I joined back in.
Tonight during one of our debrief sessions this story was brought up. We both had a good laugh about it and we continued to worship the Lord. As I sat on the ground asking the Lord to show me what he needs me to see he said “Sara, what was she doing wrong with the fire.”
“She was smothering it.”
“Yes, she was. She was smothering it with the same thing that gives it life. Sara, it’s the same thing with relationships. Too much of what gives it life will smother it, and kill it.”
Ouch.
The part of the story that you are missing that makes this hurt is I was doing that with relationships. This is something I am going through right now. I was smothering the “fire” with the same thing that gave it life. Adding what didn’t need to be added. The more I became frustrated with a situation, the more I added the branches to the fire and smothered it. I took my eyes off of the Lord in a time of frustration, and desperation. In doing so I thought I could tend the fire myself. I have no idea what I was thinking.
While I was busy smothering it they were equally as frustrated trying to tend it back to life. Sticking there face next to the hot embers and blowing in hopes that it would spark again. That’s not a fun place to be. Eventually they got tired of the heat, smoke, and me putting the damn fire out that they walked away from it. I know I was frustrated, but I can’t even imagine how frustrated they were.
I wish I had a really cool ending on how these relationships were tended back to life, and everything is all good, but I don’t. And that is okay.
But what I do have is a new understanding of what a healthy fire/relationship looks like. And for that I am beyond blessed.
