What does beauty look like to you? Really, what does beauty look like to you? In years past, I would tell you that your beauty comes from how you dress, do your make up, and style your hair. I was not great at any of those things, so I found myself not believing I was beautiful. It wasn’t until recently I started to feel comfortable in my own skin, but most importantly, understand and believe how beautiful I am in God’s eyes.
I’ve always had the desire in the back of my head to shave my head, but I wasn’t confident in who I was to do it. During the first two days of training camp God showed up bigger and more powerful than ever. He was so clear and vivid that any doubt I had flew right out the window. I decided that I would do it, I would shave my head.
After talking to a squadmate who recently shaved her head, I came to the conclusion I would make it a fundraiser. I briefly explained my heart on Facebook and that the highest donor could shaved it when I got home. I was so excited, but that excitement ended quickly. The people back home I trust, love, and pour out so much of my heart to were so negative. I was absolutely shocked and honestly hurt.
One thing about tent camping around 48 people with only a foot between tents is you can hear EVERYTHING. My tent neighbor knew something wasn’t right and started to talk to me. After a while another squadmate came and prayed with me. The love and support from my team was unlike anything I have ever experienced. Because of their support, I decided I was doing it.
A few nights later I told my squadmates it was time. Most of the squad was right there loving and supporting me. The first piece of hair was braided and about to come off. I handed the scissors to someone I grew close to all week to make the first cut. In all honesty I was not nervous at all, in fact I was filled with so much peace and joy. After the first piece was off, I asked my squadmates if they would all like to join in and cut sections off. One by one they grabbed the scissors, encouraged me, and cut. Once the cutting was done the buzzing of the clippers became real. I was so ready for this. After what seemed like forever, my head became light and cold. I looked to the ones I have grown so close to around me and all I saw were smiles. After a few minutes I asked someone if I could see a photo of what I look like since mirrors at training camp aren’t a thing. In the picture I didn’t see the Sara I have known my whole life, I saw Sara who was finally confident in who God made her. Sara who was done living by what others’ thoughts and wants, Sara, an obedient daughter of God.
Ever since that moment I find myself smiling all the time. I smile because God has put me around so many amazing, supportive, Godly people. I smile because I have never felt closer and more vulnerable with God. I smile because this is the most confident and most beautiful I have ever felt.
