one way

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I made it to DC without melting into a crying mess after
all. . . but here’s what ran through my mind this morning.  Off to dinner in Annandale one last time for a year. . . 

It’s raining my last day in New York. One way ticket to Penn Station, one way to
DC. my JetBlue ticket to California –
one way. The flight from LAX to Manila
with a layover in Hong Kong (how did you guess) is one way.

This is it. This is
real. The series of goodbyes quickly
accelerated; it’s not even lunchtime and I’m already a teary mess. 

Don’t get me wrong. I
am excited. I know in my gut this is
right and this is how it’s going down. My mom and dad worry, as parents do and should, and wonder if there’s a
better way, a bigger way, one that won’t tuck me away into remote corners of
the developing world in such harsh conditions. 

Mom and Dad, you are free to wonder that. But please try not to worry so much. God didn’t excuse Jesus, His beloved, only
begotten Son, from the deepest suffering; and I, as His daughter, am no
different.

This doesn’t make you feel any better, I’m sure, but it is going to be hard. But this is going to be good. And I feel deep in my gut that I have to take
this step before God does give me “big hands”. 

Though I am small, the impact He makes through me will not be
small. My God is a great God who does
great things to those who make themselves fully available to Him – regardless
of their size and strength.

For the sake of the other passengers on this nice, Wi-Fi-ed,
coach bus to DC, I hope I can maintain some kind of composure.