i don’t belong anywhere – part III

(that sentence concluded with “candidate”, by the way.)

but you better believe i was flipping out, slightly beside myself.  i did a weird sort of dance, running in place, wringing my hands, saying, “aaaahhhhh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” repeatedly.

 

in that moment, getting that email confirmed to me that this idea wasn’t mine and that yeah, i do hear from God (surprise, even after the world race, i’m not always super-confident).  i just felt so humbled and awestruck.

 

and very young.  i technically am the youngest of the candidates.

 

there have been stages of this process.  first, whether or not to accept the nomination.  i had about two weeks and at that point, i only told a handful of people, so that they could pray with me.  when it came time to notify my pastor of my decision, i felt peace.

 

i accepted.

 

deacons serve for a three-year term, which meant to me that i wouldn’t be moving to georgia anytime soon, baring any extenuating circumstances.  again i had to fight against the zero-sum mentality, the lie that having a heart for the nations (and mobilizing my generation to the nations) was at odds for having a heart for odpc.

 

one day, jacob hoyer calls me to pick my brain about blogging.  then we catch up and i fill him in on this deacon business and share about the tension i’d been feeling.  the affirmation and blessing i received from him was most definitely of the Lord – it was prophetic in that it comforted, edified and encouraged me.  watching jacob move in his pastoring giftedness has always been a beautiful thing to behold – even if only in part through his blogs – but to have been the recipient of it was just…woah.

 

anyway…

 

since then, i’ve been moving along this nomination process.  a few sundays later, i saw my name in a list of 30+ candidates (some have already served a term and are serving another).  the pastors – well, mostly the lead pastor – was now accepting feedback from the congregation.  any concerns would be brought up in an interview that each candidate would have with the leadership (elders, pastors).

 

i had my interview the sunday before thanksgiving.  i guess there were either no concerns or no one bothered to voice any?  then i got an email saying the session (which i guess is the presbyterian term for the governing body of the church?) approved and i was officially on the ballot.

 

and so this sunday at our congregational meeting, the candidates will be voted on.  each candidate needs a majority vote.  i’m at peace and i can say confidently and genuinely regardless of the outcome that it truly has been an honor to be nominated.  it was His idea to begin with.

 

so i conclude this mini-series with that tension somewhat eased.  i think this tension is just a microcosm of the greater tension we as God’s people feel — citizens of heaven who want heaven to invade earth.

i will never get tired of this song, take a listen: 

whether i stay in nova for a long, long time, whether i do end up in gainesville at some point, whether He sends me back to new york, whether He takes me to a completely different place – it doesn’t matter.  who i am is not the same as what i do nor where i am. . .

 

whatever it is i do to serve wherever i am – it begins with and centers on my delighting in His presence. and i can do that anywhere.

 

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i guess bottom line…as far as i know…i’m staying put in nova.  but still working for aim.  and very much need your prayer and financial partnership.