watching figure skating has given me a hankering to get lessons from the nearby ice-rink, i’d get more use out of the skates jenn leung gave me when we were in high school. ever since mcdonald’s started their 99 cent filet-o-fish promotion i have been eating too much mcd’s – mostly mcnuggets and apple pies.
speaking of fast-food, i’d been feeling rather restless the past couple weeks, but after kaitlin prayed for me (she hears SO clearly from the Lord, yet speaks so tenderly on His behalf) i was reminded that i feel restless because i’m not resting as much in Him, a la st. augustine. so i’ve been asking for patience. especially with regard to being single. i know He’s making it all beautiful in His time, but i’ve just been wondering how long that is, exactly. God, i trust You, i trust You, i trust You. You love me, You love me, You love me and when we (whoever he is and myself) are ready you’ll bring us together.
lots of writing projects on my plate, which is a good thing. hard to juggle with a full-time job when writing could be a full-time job in and of itself. fasting from fb and twitter’s been good – both take up lots of time. fb/twitter have been quite constructive but abstaining it for a spell will give me more insight into wielding both social media in better, more effective ways. though i have to confess, the whole google buzz thing feels like twitter lite. the fast, albeit not quite yet to the degree i’d like, has been drawing me closer to God.
found out last night that my aunt, who’d been diagnosed with cancer around thanksgiving, has only a few weeks left to live per her doctor. we’ll see about that, my spirit says. mom said to be wise and that if i couldn’t make it up to ny this weekend, it’s okay – in light of the snow, i suppose. as i was laying in bed, falling asleep, i remembered when Jesus raised lazarus from the dead. i think i remembered mostly the part about Jesus delaying in visiting the brother and his two sisters. i just read the passage in the bible that retells this miracle. Jesus heard about lazarus being sick and waited two days before He headed to bethany, which is close to jerusalem, which is where He knew He Himself would die. faith is funny. sometimes faith makes you fast – like how i ended up in haiti. but maybe faith slows you down and makes you wait, be patient. i wondered if i need to step out in faith and NOT head up to ny this weekend and wait so that Jesus will show up (i mean, He’s there, but you know what i mean) and lay “new grounds for believing” (john 11:14-15, the message). but then i remember that my aunt isn’t just MY aunt. she’s my cousins’ mom. my mom’s sister. so i go up to bring some Kingdom for them, too.
well. i think my lunch break was over a few minutes ago. if only i could approach my writing assignments like this mind-dump; i could write a novel…
anyway. if you caught the part about my aunt, please pray for her. my family’d appreciate it.
