The last week of ministry in El Alto, Bolivia starts today and already our hearts were heavy. There for, receiving the awful news that Micaela and Laura had decided to leave the center over the weekend was a bitter start.
After a weekend in Chile I was so excited to see my girls faces from Talita Kumi and give them the biggest hugs and kisses. They brighten up my day every morning because they always crowd us as we walk through the doors. It was disheartening to notice that two of the girls weren´t there this morning. Belen, another one of my girls, with a soft voice and sad eyes confirmed that Micaela and Laura had left over the weekend. My heart instantly broke and I feared that they had escaped together and returned to the streets.
If I had to be honest of all the 10 girls these two I just knew in my heart would finish the program and succeed. Everything in me was poured out into these two and knowing that I will leave in a week and won´t see them breaks my heart.
Two weeks ago Micaela was not doing so good, I could see it in her eyes at breakfast. A couple hours later I pulled her outside and had a one on one. I´ve never held a hopeless person in my arms until that morning and in that moment I also began to feel hopeless. She repeated over and over that her heart was broken, disappointed and frustrated and she just couldn´t do life any more. Again, in that brief moment I had nothing to give.
Sitting under the sun in an empty court yard holding this girl in my arms God spoke to me very clearly. I couldn´t swing my magic wand and fix her life, which is what I really wanted to do, but I had something greater than a magic wand. I had something for her that maybe no one had ever said to her… I had truth to give her.
Truth is, God loves her unconditionally regardless of all her mistakes. Truth is, she is a daughter of the almighty King and He knows her heart. Truth is, her broken heart could be fixed and she wasn´t a lost cause. Truth is, she didn´t have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders cause her dad was right there waiting to carry it for her. In that moment I saw God breath life into this girl and peace take over her.
My heart is hurting today because I don´t have beautiful Micaela waiting for me when I get back from my afternoon break. She left and didn´t say goodbye. What I feared most for her is the street life, but she´s home with her mom. She didn´t escape and according to Sister Ana, the lead educater, Micaela left with the right mindset and went home to continue growing beside her mom. She´s doing great!
Truth is, I won´t change anyone nor will things be done how and when I want them. Truth is, God has it all under control and Micael and Laura are in His hands. Truth is, God spoke truth into her that day not me, His arms held her not mine. She left and is doing great because He is with her and I am only a vessel of His love.
I know eventually I had to leave these girls and eventually is 5 days away. I will have to leave but God is staying with them and that´s all that matters. I have enjoyed these weeks with them and loved loving on them. I´m honored God allowed me this opportunity of loving them… and my heart hurting only means I loved them well.
Don´t be afraid to love even when it hurts. Give people your all and most importantly let God use you to speak life and truth into those who need it. Don´t think you don´t have anything to give people because you have something people need… you have truth in you to share with the world!
p.s. thanks to all those who have already helped and supported me financially so I could meet April 1st deadline… keep the help coming guys!!! I´m still $800 short from my deadline.
