Peru was a hard month, I din't think I'd ever have one of these months. I remember clearly hearing a journal entry of an alumni racer at training camp warning us about these kind of months. The month were you feel like your just going through the motions and nothing is really being invested.
For starters I began the month sick and in bed with e coli. I shook it off and thank God was able to be back in ministry 3 days later. After taking an hour bus into the desert of Peru my team leader, Bri, and I met up with the rest of Salmo 45:11. It was great to see them and I was happy for the new adventure that was Peru. However, to my surprise I was greeted with the news that the first job given to us by our host Cindy and Guido had been finished. The girls had crushed the first job, which was painting a church, in 3 days. So what was I suppose to do now?
Second week started with me having a day off because of the rotations that my team had established at the beginning of the month. So there I was agin, another day out of ministry. I was enjoy the free time, but I could see myself doubting my reason for being in Peru. Finally I was able to work for ONE day and hold a paint brush. It felt so rewarding to work and finish the day with the church looking like new. For the remainder of the week we walked around the streets of this desert town passing out tracks and inviting the locals to the church's anniversary that weekend. It felt so good to work and be able to interact with people, but most importantly share the gospel with them.
As the weeks progressed and the work seemed scares I realized how much I was doubting my abilities this month. How much enfaces I had placed on the amount of work I was doing. Once again the questions and doubts I thought I had dealt with during month 1 were arising in me.
I remember clearly several moments where Bri brought the topic of our worth to team time. "Are you allowing the amount of work that you do determine your worth?" With a lot of struggle within myself because I didn't want to admit it, I had to answer yes to the question.
It was a constant battle of questions… What had I been doing in Peru? How much work did I have under my belt to prove I was worth being on the Race? What impact did I have in Peru?
I thank God for all the free time I had in Peru because it allowed me to reflect on the answers God was giving me in regards to all the questions I was bringing before Him.
Maybe I had only painted one church for one day. But while I was there my team and I made an impact on the young adults in the congregation, they couldn't believe we were willing to lay on our bellies to get the job done. With a simple action we planted in them work ethic and willingness to do what ever it took to get the job done. Maybe I was only able to teach english class for 3 days this whole month, but I bet the 3 kids that showed up appreciated an hour of undivided attention from someone. Maybe I only passes tracks for 2 days, but that young guy in the metal shop heard the gospel on one of those days.
As the months pass the more I realize that it's the little things that count. Sometimes God is showing himself with a big miracle and other times He's reveling himself in a giggle or a laugh.
I'm thankful for this month of very little labor work, because it allowed God to do real big work in me. There is so much work still to be done in Peru, and I'm thankful I was able to bless the few people I met. I'm thankful because if I was meant to come to Peru to share the gospel with just one, it would all be worth it for that one. It's about quality and not quantity.
Remember that your worth is in HIm. What He says you are is where you find your identity. It's not about how much you can or cannot do but rather about how well you do with the little or a lot that He gives you.
