I had no plans to write anything today. I felt in a way God stopped talking to me. I would sit and try to listen, but I’d hear nothing. I was angry. I was angry at this virus, about quarantine, about my deadlines for this trip, and him not talking to me. I had no idea why he would not be speaking to me. I then realized that this is how it was when I was being deceived by the enemy. In this deception I was angry, resentful, and totally out of hope. So I just surrendered to God asked for forgiveness for whatever I was doing wrong and just like that there he was again. It turns out he was talking the whole time, but I didn’t want to listen. He filled my heart and mind with hope for my future. I didn’t realize that I had given up all hope for my future. I was completely surrounded by negative mindsets. The last couple of days I’d been staring at the funds I’d raised and wondered what I was doing wrong. I tried to be diligent with reaching out to people and fundraising for this trip, that just so happens to mean the absolute world to me. I didn’t know what Gods plans were. I had an all to familiar thought of, “I guess its still not my time.” I was so sick of that thought and then it hit me, every time I ever had that thought He was about to explode onto the scene. God always has our back, in fact He’s before us, behind us, beside us, all around us, and in us. God gave me an opportunity to have a voice. I know God gave me this blog to speak truth into peoples life through my personal story and thoughts. It is the ultimate joy in my heart to give. It puts butterflies in my stomach. It gives me a sense of joy I can’t explain. I’m sitting here with the biggest smile as I write this. To think that maybe just maybe someone who reads my words feels god in a new way that surprises them, encourages them, or supports them then my work would be fulfilled. I truly want nothing but Gods will on my life, whatever that may look like. I believe hope is a weapon.It literally can change a negative mindset about something or a tragedy into truth and realization of gods great power. I believe Matthew 17:20 when it says that’ “faith the size of a mustard seed moves a mountain.” My heart is filled with joy and content for this season of waiting that the world is in. I feel like I’m in the line for the coolest most exciting roller coaster of my life and it’s called revival.
