I admit I have a lot of fears; “what-if” scenarios are constantly floating around in my brain.
Fear is like the monster under a kid’s bed – its power is fueled not by what’s really there, but by the possibility of what might. Fear is not necessarily a bad thing—it can motivate us to greater achievements and ground us in our vulnerability. But it can also be a destructive force, one that can control our very souls and dictate how we live our lives, thus avoiding the life that God has planned for us. I believe that this is the most damaging effect of fear— that when we succumb to our fears, it can defeat us before the battle even begins and stop us from ever embarking on our mission. I know this to be true in the months it took to finally take part in The World Race (WR.)
Two years ago, God placed the WR in my heart after learning about it from a friend who was planning to go. I immediately fell in love with the mission after reading the blogs and watching the accompanying videos. I had gone on short-term mission trips before and have always wanted to travel the world. Without much thought, I applied for the heck of it. Little did I know I would get phone calls and e-mails within days of clicking SEND. Suddenly, I felt fear and doubt rush in and drag with it my initial excitement and conviction. My mind was inundated with the” what-if” scenarios and it left me paralyzed. I ignored the phone calls and e-mails and never followed through. To keep a long story short, I tried pushing it away and ran away from any sign of spiritual beckoning, but God never quit. He kept placing this on my heart and it became clear that this was what God wanted me to do. I knew I had to acknowledge this fear and just chose to trust God.
Now to a much lesser extent, this same fear has kept me from writing on my blog. All this is very foreign to me and I still find it uncomfortable to write in such a public space. I have never blogged before and was never really one for having a way with words on paper. But I suppose if God can help me overcome my fears of pursuing a year-long trip around the world, surely He can help me string together a few sentences.
I’m sure I will encounter many more of my fears on this upcoming journey, but 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Isaiah 41:10 reminds us, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
I’m excited for what the Lord has planned for me in this next chapter of my life and I look forward to seeing how God will continue to cross a lot more of my fears off my list.
I’ll do my best to update this blog as much as I can, so subscribe to my blog as I continue to reveal more ways God is changing and working in me.
