Our society is so enamored with the idea of love – not godly love – but worldly love. And I don't believe it's only our American society, I believe this obsession with love transcends all nationalities, borders, and tongues. We want to be loved by friends, family, coworkers, bosses, but most of all we want to find the one big love.
You know what I'm talking about. That special girl or that amazing guy who is supposedly out there somewhere. But why is all this pressure put on finding the one? Why does every girl from the age of talking start planning her wedding?
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul speaks to the unmarried:
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c]
The main point in this passage that I want to point out is that Paul is telling the people of Corinth that if they can control themselves and their desires, that he wants them to not marry. He wants them to be devoted to God completely instead.
So, why is there all this emphasis put on marriage? Is this what God wants for us? True, it says in Genesis that it was not good for man to be alone. So, what is the balance? What's the calling?
Why all the social pressure, family pressure, and cultural pressure to get married? In social situations, everyone is with their someone and it seems right – and socially acceptable – to be two instead of one. In family situations, parents ask their single, adult children, "When are you going to get married and give us some grand babies?" After a while, some parents might even ask their single child if he or she is gay because of their singleness. And finally, in culture, singleness is highly looked down upon. You don't see happy, healthy, single adults in Hollywood productions. They're always lonely or workaholics or alcoholics, or the whole basis of the movie is about a single person and the plot goes something like this: get Star A to fall in love with and probably marry Star B, and ChaChing! That's happiness! That's the ultimate goal! Or is it?
What would we look like if we didn't have this happily ever after syndrome?
Would we, actually, be happier?
I feel like a lot of people are so in love with the idea or feeling of love and being in love that they sacrifice what could be their best relationship: the intimate and loving relationship with God.
If someone felt called today to embrace their singleness and actually did it, if they actually stayed away from temptation and devoted their life completely to God, do you know how absolutely weird that person would be seen as?
My call out to you is to put aside your insecurities and be secure in the person God made you to be. If that means that you should be secure in your current (or future) relaionships, great! And if that means that you should be secure in your singleness, great! We have a huge God who loves us more than we will ever know. He only wants what's best for us because we are his children.
I want to know what God's will is for my life and I want to do it. If that means that he has that special guy out there for me, hallelujiah! And if that means that God wants me to spend the rest of my life in devotion to him by seeking after his face and living my life to know him more, hallelujiah!
