4 weeks. that’s all i have left. 4 weeks to visit my favorite places, see my favorite people, experience my favorite things. I have 4 weeks left to work with some of my best friends. 4 weeks to lay in my bed and cry at cheesy Nicholas Sparks movies while eating Ben & Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. (this may or may not be what I’m doing as I write this)
In 4 weeks I pack my entire livelihood into a 65L pack and say goodbye to the comfortable life I’ve built in Charlottesville, VA. the past few days people have been asking, “are you so excited?” “are you nervous?” “how much longer do you have here?” To which I respond: “oh, I cannot WAIT” “nah, not at all. I’m more excited than anything.” “only a few more weeks!”
the truth is, though, it’s hard. I’m terrified. these next 4 weeks are going to fly by so fast I won’t even know where they went, which scares me even more. I’ve been letting my excitement hide my fear, which has led to minor panic attacks throughout the last week (ask me about the time I cried because of Nicki Minaj).
I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to give up this comfortable life. saying goodbye is hard. realizing what you’ll miss while you’re gone is hard (this is the worst fomo I’ve ever had).
BUT
what will come out of these next 9 months will be so worth it. what I’m being called to give up is so much better than anything I could find if I stayed.
what if Peter didn’t listen when Jesus told him to drop everything to become a fisher of men? (Matthew 4:18-22) he never would’ve walked on water with Jesus (Matthew 14:28-31). he never would’ve been declared the rock that Jesus built His church on (Matthew 16:17-19). all of these things are so cool and humbling, but imagine what was going through Peter’s mind during his first encounter with Jesus.
I bet he had a moment of hesitation. I bet he was worried about leaving his family, his job, his routine behind–at least for a second. but he realized it was worth it. he saw that leaving all of it behind to follow a man he (rightfully) believed was the Son of God was worth it. he knew that if he obeyed, he’d find a life he could’ve never dreamed of.
while I don’t think I’ll walk on water (but if it’s God’s plan, I definitely won’t complain…) my life will be changed in radical ways. I can’t wait to experience everything the Lord has in store for me; the lowest lows and the highest highs, bring ’em on. this is the Lord calling me to become a fisher of men. to leave everything I know to follow Him. while it’s terrifying and there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to go, it’s going to be worth it!!
this journey isn’t just about me; it’s about joining together as the body of Christ. would you prayerfully consider partnering with me? I am still in need of $3,000 by August 22nd, and I need your help! all donations are tax-deductible and all you have to do is click the “donate” button at the top of this page. Thank you in advance!! I love every single one of you!
