A place that feels like a beach town and a mountain village at the same time. Which is one of the coolest and chillest places I’ve been yet. But also one of the most challenging places as well.
Bangkok was a lot to swallow but being with the whole squad for a few days was needed more than expected. Doing life with these people is by far one of the biggest blessings to date.
As a team we felt called to the North but we also didn’t want to go where other teams were going. For the simple reason of building our relationship as a team. So after a few long decisions we decided on Pai as a place to come and seek God. And the battle was waged.
It felt like we would take one step forward and then the next day ten step back. We had planned to do a worship time in the morning and then that was pushed back. Then it was going to be in a field then we had to move. It was going to be during the sunset but by the time we got to worship the sun was set. To be honest I didn’t want to worship anymore. I was frustrated. These are the moments that Jesus gets to deal with the real me full of sass and attitude (just a little reminder of how He made me). I just started off by telling Him how it was and that I was over it. And then slowly I started to soften.
That is one of the best things about God. He will always choose to take me where I am at and move me from glory to glory.
Then something crazy happened. One of my team mates came up to me and started praying and they prayed EVERYTHING I had just talked to God about. Even the things that were in the depth of my soul that no one knew about. JESUS ALREADY KNEW! That is when the final wall of stubbornness fell. I gave it all to Him and allowed His grace to be enough.
We all joined hands to prayed in a circle and there in the middle, was Jesus. We were in complete unity it was glorious. We prayed for each other and what God was speaking to us then we prayed for Pai and gave the town to God. We commanded the darkness to flee and began to stir up the Spirit to allow God to do what He wants to do. Jesus was there so present and so tangible.
That didn’t mean that the battle was over. It simple means that we had a breakthrough.
We were going to the Pai, Canyon to have a time of worship and watch the sunset. The sunset was breathtaking.
But the 2 hour journey (walk) there and (ride) back were full of offensives, hurts, and frustrations.
Also someone only had coffee in there system which meant they were at like a 20 and everyone else was maybe at a 7…. That didn’t help much but, the coffee was SOOOO good! 10/10 would recommend.
With all of the offensives, hurts, and frustrations I was at a loss. I just want everything to be okay and I just want to focus on Jesus. I just want HIM. In the offenses, in the hurts, and in the frustrations Jesus is there. HE alone is ready to grab you by the hand and walk with you. HE is there with HIS arms open ready for you to collapse in HIM. HE is there to speak peace and grace to the frustrations. ALL we have to do is let HIM. HE is a gentleman HE isn’t about to use force or demand. HE is all LOVE!
Taking my troubles to the Lord has been interesting. Part of me is ashamed to have troubles because Jesus is enough but, I am only human. Another part of me can’t wait to see what HE has to say.
This morning when I was able to take my troubles to the Lord I was drawn to Psalm 26:2-3, “Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.”
I never want to stop learning. I never want to stop being stretched. I want God to test me and see what my heart is made of. He alone knows what is at the depth of my heart and what is on my mind at all hours. I am nothing without HIS unfailing love and faithfulness. Even when I don’t deserve it. HE already gave it.
H E A L R E A D Y K N O W S
H E I S A L R E A D Y T H E R E
H E I S E N O U G H
