well, i just realized that when i wrote, what i thought was my ‘first entry’, i was actually just typing in the ‘about’ section of the blog. so, i suppose that this is my first actual entry. hello!
i have now told almost everyone important about this race and that i’m leaving. and it’s really starting to sink in that this is real, that i am really going to be gone, leaving my family–for an entire year.
i have a seven year old brother, i will miss out on his entire second grade year. i also have a 19 year old brother who is still figuring out who he is, what he’s doing, and all that confusing stuff that comes with being out of highschool. annndd two younger cousins that i tend to latch on as my brother and sister… i’m going to miss them. i’m going to miss my parents and miss my grandparents, for an entire year.
and while i know, i know, i know, that this is what’s next, (and i’ve always desired to be a full time missionary overseas…) it’s just really starting to become real. and that, i hate to admit, is a little bit scary.
i have just began sending out letters. quite the process…it’s taking a lot of time…and i hate asking for money and that daunting number is a bit stressful… but, i don’t know, i feel like the ‘world race’ journey has begun (maybe that’s obvious) and the Lord is using all of this chaos. all of my nutty emotions twirling around, all of my lack of wanting to manage my time properly and my lack of wanting to do the necessary, seemingly mudande tasks that are before me…he’s using it.
he’s building me and equipping me. probably stripping me of somethings before i even head out. so i guess i just keep moving ahead. keep trusting. keep obeying. keep looking to him. to him.
so…that’s good.
hard.
not fun.
scary.
chaotic.
good.
praise jesus!
that’s all for now.
samara
