Saturday afternoon I returned home from what felt like the longest week of my life, this is therefore my post-Training Camp blog. I could spend hours rehashing all the gruesome details; of how 57 of us spent the night on a smelly hot school bus, or how we resorted to bucket showers and Porta Potties.
Training Camp was an intimate growing experience for my Squad and I. While I could recap each day for you in explicit detail, the truth is, the details won’t do the experience justice, when put together the details sound terrible, however the outcome was beautiful.
Prior to Training Camp, I’d tell people of the World Race and their initial reaction was almost always, “11 months?! Wow, that’s a long time!” I’d laugh it off, accepting the obvious but not really thinking too much into it. However, I now have a much better picture of how long 11 months really is, and how trying the next year will be.
Maybe I’m supposed to leave Training Camp super excited for my departure, if that’s the case I may have missed the mark, because if I can be honest, I’m pretty scared. The World Race will easily be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. There will be moments where I am desperate for alone time, and there will be moments where I feel incredibly alone. There will be moments where I am overwhelmed with fear, and there will be moments where I am overwhelmed with freedom.
I must say, prior to training camp I did not really understand what I was getting myself into, but God did. He knew all along where He was taking me, He knew all along what He was preparing me for, and as I sit here five weeks out from debarkation, His knowledge is what gives me comfort. It humbles me that God thinks so highly of me, that He can look at the World Race and say ‘this girl can do that!’ While Training Camp was a very rude awakening for me it was also a beautiful realization, that God see’s much more in me than I can see in myself. God gave me a little glimmer this past week that there is far more inside of me that remains undiscovered. I am therefore incredibly excited and encouraged to continue on with this mission and illuminate those hidden gems.
Through all the ups and downs that Training Camp entailed, in the end it showed me that there is real hope in Jesus, that He will protect me and sustain me, that He knew me in the womb before I ever knew myself, and He knows each and every step before I take it. That He placed me in this very position and gave me this very opportunity for a reason, a reason so big I can’t even comprehend it.
If my God knows me and still put me in this position, He therefore knows I am capable. And if my God knows I am capable and therefore has ultimate faith in the woman He created me to be, who am I to challenge that.
Father God I may be scared out of my mind for this next chapter of my life, but in You there is no fear, in You there is hope, and in You all things are possible. Lord I know you’ve placed me in this very space of time for a particular reason, You’ve called me for a purpose, and see things in me that I have never seen in myself. But if You are for me, who can be against me. Above all else it is You that gives me hope, You that gives me peace, and You that guides my steps. I know security in Your arms, I know purpose in Your word, and I know love in Your light. Thank You for giving me hope when I had none, Thank You for calling me to things far greater than I could ever imagine, and Thank You for having mercy on me and guiding me. I need You Father, I could never get through this without You, Thank You for creating me, loving me and sustaining me. In Your Sons glorious name I Pray.
Samara
xoxox
Meet my family for the next year, Team Relentless Hope!
From Left: Brittany, David, Ben, Me, Lauren, Erica, Molly Fae
