Written the morning of September 10th
It’s 6:35 in the morning, there’s a cold dew that covers the ground, a wet frigid air surrounds the house, and I’m residing just inside the open steel doors trying to escape from cold mountain breeze. I’m spending this first morning here at our ministry worshiping the Lord, my headphones are in and Tye Tribbetts “What Can I Do” plays in my ears, and I realize that no song has ever more brilliantly articulated my deepest prayer.
“Here’s my heart, here’s my mind, I give you my soul Lord, I need you to take control, cause I’ve tried it on my own, but what I found is, I can’t make it, on my own. So tell me what can I do, I can’t live without you, I can’t live without you!”
I did it, I made it, I said yes and I boarded the plane, I’m here on the World Race, it has begun and with it I carry a huge responsibility. The Kingdom, God’s Presence, the Holy Spirit, It resides within me. Wherever I go, It goes, I am sharing the Kingdom, I am a constant representation of the unlimited capacity of God’s love, and my question; how in the world am I supposed to do that?! I have never been more desperate for God’s guidance and wisdom.
I realized the other day, that during worship I only give 150% when I’m either spiritually distraught, or I’ve just been granted a huge revival, only in those scenarios do I fervently seek out the presence and guidance of God. But why am I not doing that everyday? Why am I not aggressively pursuing Him each and every day? I have the Kingdom of Heaven inside of me; do you know what could be done with that gift, if it is actually tapped into on a regular basis? Hope could be instilled, love could be spread, miracles had, mercy granted, salvation achieved, the capacity is endless! That is the magnificent power that the Father placed inside of me, that I only tap into when I am completely lost or on a spiritual high.
I don’t want that anymore.
I have one life and I’m blessed enough to have the Spirit of the Creator of this entire Universe living within me, I want to use it. I want to be tethered to Him; I want to worship Him with my entire heart, no matter what, every day. I want to enter an area and know where He’s been working, I want to talk to a stranger and know what the Lord has been putting on their heart. We aggressively pursue human relationships on a daily basis, we meet a boy and always wonder where they are, what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, how they feel about you. We should be doing that with our Bridegroom as well, He’s marvelous and Almighty why wouldn’t we want to know everything about Him?
So that is my challenge to myself; to engage constantly with the Father, to seek out His knowledge and guidance on a daily basis, even when I think I have it figured out, especially when I think I have it figured out. To worship to Him like crazy, EVERY time, not just when I’m lost, and not just when I’m revived but when I’m content, when I am perfectly content in His presence, content in His spirit I want to worship like crazy out of gratitude, grateful of where I am, of what I have, grateful that I’m not spiritually distraught, grateful that I am safe in His presence, grateful that He has me, and embraces me at all times, grateful that He is good all the time, grateful that I am His, and He is mine, and grateful that He see’s so much in me to call me out to an adventure as great as this. I am grateful, I am in love, and I want more!
“I can’t talk without You, I can’t sing without You, I’m nothing with You, I cant without live You, I can’t breath without You, I can’t be without You, there’s nothing without You. “
