Desperate

Have you ever been so tired that you are falling asleep all the time: while you’re typing, while you’re

on the toilet, on the plane, in the car, at work, while reading the Bible, while standing… falling asleep could pretty much could happen at anytime and any place EXCEPT at night in bed when you’re supposed to be sleeping. This has been my struggle for at least two months now. I am beyond exhausted… I am not getting enough sleep and when I do sleep, I don’t sleep well. And when I am awake, I can’t slow down. It’s like I am a sleepwalking Energizer bunny with batteries that can’t be removed… if that makes any sense at all.

Seems pretty simple. But, I am NOT a still person. I am a go-go-go person, who doesn’t know how to slow down and doesn’t know how to stop. Some say “don’t let life pass you by” but I’m going so fast, I’m bypassing life or so it seems sometimes. I can’t slow down.

Then, a couple weeks ago, I went to a church leadership retreat hoping for a day of spiritual restoration and rejuvenation as well as some general rest. As I was driving in, I saw a sign that said “God will give you rest.” So desperate for that, just seeing the sign nearly brought me to tears and I’m the type that virtually never cries… (or at least that is how I used to be before I really let God break my heart so that He can mold it). I need rest SO bad and not just physical rest which I am truly in dire need of, but I need some serious emotional and spiritual restoration which only God can provide.

Desperate. I am desperate.  As much as I hate the sound of that word… that is what I am. Desperate for rest… physical rest, emotional rest, spiritual rest.  Only God can give me the restoration I need.  I need You Lord.