In exactly one week I will graduate with my master’s degree..say what?!? It seems like only yesterday that I was accepted into a prestigious sport administration program and I could see my life transforming from elementary school teacher to college athletic director.
Last night I celebrated with grad school friends. We celebrated surviving two years of thesis work, internship placements, and grueling coursework. We also celebrated those of us who know the next stage in our life, whether that be a dream job, a move across the country, or THE WORLD RACE! We danced to Spice Girls- we will never stop loving them 🙂 and reminisced about the fun times that we have experienced over the past two years and then suddenly, I started to realize that my life was about to change dramatically. It was the first time, in the week since I accepted the World Race offer, that I actually processed how much my life was about to change.
As graduation draws closer I have become a mess of emotions. Excitement for the next step, sadness for a stage of life that is ending, accomplishment for gaining a masters degree, and anxiety over all the things that I have to do..fundraise, gather gear, fundraise, sell furniture, fundraise, move out, fundraise. Then I stop to just laugh at myself. He has it all under control! He smiles at me, and kinda laughs as He says, I got this! And I remember that none of these things are in my control. God has a great plan for my life and He has control. No matter how sad I am for leaving great friends, or nervous I am to start raising my funds, everything that I do will be part of His plan for me. He will provide the comfort when my friends and I move away from Chapel Hill. He will hold my hand through the fundraising process. And He will provide in all ways, emotionally, financially, spiritually, and relationally.
I went to sleep last night excited for the next phase in my life. I am going to be traveling the world spreading the love of Christ. omggggg! It is gonna be AMAZING! I woke up feeling rejuvenated in the promise that He has it all under control. And then to top it off I get a good morning phone call from my mom with ideas for fundraising and genuine excitement to get things started. My heart smiled as I watched God’s love and comfort come through my mom and her ability to take my anxious heart and settle it in the promise that He is in control. Many times a day I fail Him miserably. I become doubtful and overwhelmed about preparing for the race. I begin to think I won’t be able to do it, or that I won’t find any foods that I like to eat, or that I won’t know the right words to say to the struggling non-believer. In all of my can’ts, won’ts and questions I find the clear and simple answer, in His word…as always!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” –Proverbs 3:5-6
I hear you Lord and I am down on my knees in surrender.
You have control. Lead me and I will follow.
