Something that has been constant on my race thus far is the invitation to walk in freedom. For many reasons I never thought that freedom would actually be available to me; but as I have come to see month after month, it is and it’s waiting for me to pick it up and choose each day to walk in it. This journey for freedom started right when The World Race first began to feel real to me; Back in May- at training camp- when we all first met and were getting ready to leave. During that time, a frequent and repetitive line I heard by the Adventures in Mission staff was “Be Free.” “Be free”… that’s it- and it wasn’t until I heard these two words about 110 times that I realized that I really wasn’t free.
It’s crazy for me to look back and see that for so long I had no idea that I was a slave to my own chains of sin and bondage- tied down to both sin that I had chosen for myself and sin that was done to me. It’s even crazier to think that I still could have been enslaved to these things without even knowing it. I think one of the most attractive things about Christianity is the freedom that Christians are called to walk in, and as I started to look around and get to know some of my squad mates I was able to see glimpses of what freedom looked like in their lives- and how it would effect everything: the way they would act, speak, and ultimately live. I knew then that this was something authentic- something that I wanted for myself and although I wasn’t sure exactly what it would entail, or what my journey to living in freedom would look like- I couldn’t deny that this was something that I really wanted.
At this time, I really didn’t really have much of clue, but as I looked around and all the things that I didn’t want to tell anyone surfaced to my mind. I knew this was going to be challenging.
Month one in India was resistant- but God is good and it was here that I first tasted my little spoonful of freedom with my team leader Kayla, my sweet friend Rachel, and then again with one of my squad leaders, Erika. The Lord was so kind, gracious, and faithful to me despite my feelings and actions. During this time He showed me that even in times of disobedience, because you are believing a lie that you “can’t” do something, He will carry you to that place.
During Nepal- God started to build my trust- BIG TIME. By stripping me of heavy secrets and relationships that I wasn’t ready to give up during that month. At times I would start to get frustrated, before I had a moment to catch my breath I felt that He was calling me to give Him something bigger than the last. But in this, I realized that I could trust Him, and that nothing was too big to give him. He knows my situations better than I think I do and He has my greater good in mind always. He is faithful and He is calling me into BIG things- why on Earth would I want to miss out on that when I know that the things that God has saved me for are so much greater than all the things He has saved me from.
So here I find myself, month 3 in Cambodia and loving life- and as I’m reading my Bible I see :
“Remember Lot’s wife.”?- Luke 17:32
A good reminder for me to trust in the Lord in all situations, even those where I don’t have all the information I wish I had. In the book of Genesis, Lot’s wife- was told by two angels of the Lord that her life was being spared and from what she was being spared of. She has simple directions: leave and don’t look back. But…. she looks anyway. In a moment of worldliness or just plain humanness and all because of that quick act of disobedience and distrust, she was turned into a pillar of salt.
Whether Lot’s wife was considering returning to her sinful past or if she just wanted one last glimpse of home its unclear- but we do know that she wasn’t putting her faith in what she was told from the Lord. Like Eve, Lot’s wife was given very specific instructions from God, and both women were asked to obey without having all the information.
How many times do we find ourselves returning to the sin we’ve already been rescued from? How often do we doubt the goodness of God and His promises? How readily do we go back to our old ways of thinking and doing, certain we know what is good for us?
After cautioning His disciples to “Remember Lot’s wife,” Jesus goes on to say this:
“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.”?- Luke 17:33
After having two pretty intense months of opening up freedom and walking in deep trust- this hit me hard. I have nothing of my own to add to my life.
But as followers of Christ, we have been given the greatest mercy and spared a life of separation from God. Because the Gospel is true, we can choose to “live by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). Though it may sometimes be utterly difficult and painful, we must not look back to our former darkness but run into His saving light (Isaiah 43:18-19).
“Forget the former things;?do not dwell on the past.?See, I am doing a new thing!?Now it springs up; do you not perceive it??I am making a way in the wilderness? and streams in the wasteland.”?– Isaiah 43:18-19
