“We would like to ask you to prayerfully consider staying out with Y Squad longer as an alumni SQL.”
Its amazing how one sentence can get the heart pumping with both excitement and anxiety all at the same time. Bethany and I played this game of “what if” awhile back towards the beginning of our time squad leading regarding being asked to stay longer. At the time it seemed improbable and long time off. The long time off before too long suddenly became the present.
So at the beginning of last month, I was presented with the opportunity to continue on for awhile longer with Y Squad, the squad I have been co-leading since January.
It is funny the things you begin thinking about when suddenly I might not return early June as expected. Not that I had it figured out, but the thought of “what’s next” wasn’t too far out of my mind. Job. Living situation. A vehicle since my last one pooped out days before launching. Or… stay out in the field longer, serving the squad, training new leaders, and continue to live the nomadic lifestyle I’ve had for the past few years for just a bit longer. In all honesty, the thought of being home in June is exciting to me. But then it remains about “me” and not the bigger picture.
What it really boiled down to though is this. Is this where the Lord wants me at this point in time? If He didn’t, its an easy answer and response. From the get go I had some reservations.
I had this concern that this would become WR part 2 which I didn’t want. I did the WR once before. Once is plenty good. I also wondered that after 5 months already, how much more do I really have to give/impart. Plus I’d be without Bethany, someone whom I’ve picked up a wealth of knowledge from when it comes to leading, tackling tough situations head on, and loving well. Someone who has challenged me to be a better me, whom I’ve had conversations and experiences with that led to rolling on the floor fits of laughter over the dumbest things, and of course some unforgettable adventures with too. It’s a little scary to think that the one person I’ll have walked the first 5 months out with for every single high, low, conversation, challenge, and victory regarding Y Squad won?t be around if I stayed.
The Lord is bigger than all of that though, and in the end, I have felt led to stay out longer with Y Squad. That there is more of a role for me to play. I’ll have 3 new incredible leaders that we just raised up into squad leading right alongside me. I genuinely love Y Squad and am honored to have been a small part of their journey up to this point.
So I am staying for awhile longer. Not sure how much longer. It may only be a month, it may end up being much more than that. But I’ll be here until the Lord says its time. In the end, His timing is best for everything anyways. So here we go!
